I recall my wedding day as if it were yesterday. It made things turn around in a blink of an eye. My bride liked coffee and cartoons, but two months down the road, she had changed. Is it possible that this continual change in human beings is the greatest cause of so many divorces? Is it possible that the fundamental basis of marriage, which is love, also undergoes change? Should marriage be regulated to last shorter than its original meaning “…till death do us part”? One writer offered the following reasoning: “Divorce has ceased to be a social taboo because the divorced persons are no longer social outcasts from their married group associations”. Today, divorce has become so common that it is almost expected, and partners have even referred to it in their wedding vows. It is uncomon for one to say they have been married for over thirty years, only to hear a remark: “To the same person!” Today, there are very many unhappy people who have decided to live together in a “marriage setup”, described as cohabiting. They have agreed to avoid the uproar of separation and cohabit with a minimum of strife. Our grandparents were not such happy and lovable people as they pretended to be in their old age. They decided to “live together” for the sake of something – children, land, social status, or even the strain of starting all over again. Divorce became a necessity because so many people were separating and living in common law with another person. Today, causes of divorce are traceable either to the physical or the psychological changes that have manifested themselves among married couples: excessive alcohol, unexplained and frequent absenteeism from the marital home, illicit philandering and extreme neglect of the family, new sexual partners, extreme cruelty and physical abuse. Signs that a marriage would not last are always clear from day one; hypocrisy, selfishness, jealousy, vanity. This is where one of the partners is aware of an ulterior motive for the wedding: “If it were not for…… I would not be doing this”. Such a marriage will not last because it is conditioned and founded on a false or illusionary premise. It is not a radical idea to suggest that skills be taught to individuals who intend to be part of a couple and to individuals who plan to become parents in the future. This is what happens to couples preparing for marriage. What is radical is the idea that the education systems should alter their curriculum to accommodate this “new” social necessity – to further more concrete marriage lessons. If a couple is to remain together, they do not need to stare into each other’s eyes every day. Rather, they need to look outward toward the future and in the same direction. The fragmentation of society today with so many broken families and an increasing percentage of young people choosing not to get married at all, send a signal that things are not that good. Families are the bedrock of society. When families fall apart, society falls into social and cultural disarray. The breakdown of the family in the developed world is at the root of nearly every other social problem and pathology. Illegitimacy, divorce, and other lifestyle choices have radically altered the basic beliefs of the family thereby altering the social order. The existence of drug abuse, education crisis, early teenage pregnancy and juvenile crimes all point back to one source: divorce. Broken homes and hearts are not only the reason for so many social problems. They are also the reason for the incumbent economic difficulties we face today. Our government must inevitably expand its intervention on family and social crises brought about by the breakdown of married spouses. E-mail: redplan20002001@yahoo.com
