Humour: Villager: Sometimes we deserve what we get

Harry Belafonte composed a song about a smart man and an even smarter woman. This reminds me of one of my friends caught in a dilemma. He wanted the ground to swallow him, but later he learnt that sometimes we deserve what we get. This friend of mine, Mande (I suppose he was born on a Monday), happened to be a well established businessman in Uganda’s Central Business District in Kampala. While in Kampala, Mande met a belle known as Natukunda (which means, God loves us). Nat was a student at one of Kampala’s universities - MUBS (Makerere University Business School). As is often the case, these university chicks will always go out of their way to make sure nothing comes between them as they make ends meet. Mande fell for Nat at first sight, and the African saying that “What you love costs you dearly,” came true for my friend. Mande became the chief financier of Nat for all seasons. These elite chicks want to have their hair “cooked” or is it “roasted”? Poor Mande always footed the bills plus meals in exclusive eateries. All along, Nat played ‘hard to get’ games of NBM (Not Before Marriage). One day, Mande discovered a secret relationship between Nat and another guy in town. When he confronted her; she simply brushed his talk off saying that the guy was her uncle. But Mande was devastated, he felt a fool, he wished the ground would swallow him. But having invested heavily, the poor chap did not want to let go of his investment; he could not stand feeding the cow while others enjoyed the milk! He decided to buy a car thinking that it would encourage her to settle. He narrated his ordeal to the car dealer; a fellow businessman who agreed to deliver the car to an agreed spot. Upon arrival, Mande paid US$2000 plus a cheque of 4m Uganda shillings. Nat was so exited! She could not believe her eyes. That night, she forgot all about the “NBM”. She quickly enlisted for driving lessons. She even lent Mande a cool million shillings for beautifying “her” car. After her driving lessons, she could not wait to test her car. Little did Nat know that the car had been taken back and Mande’s money refunded. When she confronted him for the car, he simply apologised that saying he had left it home and his mother had given it to his younger sister. Sometimes we deserve what we get. E-mail: mfashumwana@fastmail.fm