Loved women are pampered! Woman will give birth to kids, take care of them, prepare meals, and be the emotional support for a man, even when it’s his fault — the list is endless. One Nigerian movie I watched elaborates it better; a list of daily chores is pinned up as a reminder to a woman. It better be stated somewhere in the vows that women will do the most, in making their marriages work out. Anyway, why should women’s shoulders be heaped with unpaid for responsibilities? What is so weird with her receiving a gift, without paying back on Valentine’s Day? Like the Bible says, “you harvest what you sow.” A woman go through a lot throughout the year, and she surely deserves a reward, and this is why a man, a providing for a woman is custom. For centuries taking care of women’s needs is a masculine responsibility; the likes of accommodation, bills and gifts. The affection that she gives in return is incomparable to materialistic gifts; in fact it’s a gift in itself. If we are to generalize Valentine’s Day, sure we are well versed with the fact that a high percentage of women are unemployed, they stay home to take care of their family while their husbands are the bread winners. For instance, where will a woman in a remote village find the money or shop to buy a gift for her man? Let’s get real, this is Africa, there is much to address other than Valentine gifts! Besides, who says a gift equals to love? Luckily, women have thousands of ways to express the way they feel. Men often use gifts and money to express their undying love. On the contrary, a woman will use body language, signs, and emotions like tears, good cooking as well as compliments. If wishes were horses, surely all beggars would ride. This goes to men who can’t wait to walk free from the bills, since they expect their woman to take them out. Be informed that you are only wishing doom upon your relationship, unless otherwise. It’s African that you take her out, after all her company will all be yours, unless we are adapting to another strange culture. Don’t misinterpret me, a gift for him is romantic but taking care of house rent, electricity bills and buying food on Valentine’s Day is ridiculous. If there has to be bill sharing, let it come as a process. Four days to Valentine’s Day can’t make the difference. And what does the society mean when they demand higher respect for men than women? Locally when a man gets drunk, they will praise him, “yabaye umugabo,” (he has become a man) and when a woman does so, she will definitely qualify to be called, “umusinzi” (drunkard0. Men should better stand up and earn the respect they want, this can only happen if they provide for their woman. Sure, let her make that fantastic meal, decorate the house with valentine colours but please, as a real man take her out and take care of the bills. Stand warned that she might run into the hands of the one who will entice and pamper her with gifts. lillianean@yahoo.com
