She needs her privacy

By nature, humans are secretive creatures. However close partners get, they can never reach a point where they totally share everything. Counselors will tell you to be open and free with each other, but they also understand that people need to maintain a certain level of privacy as long as that privacy is not harmful to your relationship or your partner. Being in a relationship does not mean that you have to sacrifice everything. Even after getting married, and “becoming one”, everyone keeps a certain part for themselves. A mature relationship is one where both partners realize this need for privacy and actually respect it. Getting offended and resenting your partner for not letting you in on their every thought can be problematic. This is a sign of insecurity. If you think your partner is being unfaithful, it is good to find out before it is too late. There are tell-tale signs that will show you that your partner is unfaithful. However, privacy and infidelity are two different things. Women will respect a man who understands that she is not a piece of property that is taken for granted. Her phone is hers, and so is her diary. Giving her space shows that you trust her, and that you are a man of confidence who does not suffer from the general sickness of insecurity that seems to afflict most men. It is not so hard to know that someone checks up your belongings, follows your every movement and does not let you have personal time. It makes you feel crowded, and in the end the relationship becomes stifling instead of being the joy it is supposed to be. A man needs his personal time, and so does a woman. Maturity is managing to control your need to know every last detail about your wife or girlfriend. Relationship counselors will tell you that once you love your woman, and trust her, leave the rest alone. Some things are better left unknown. And if she hasn’t chosen to tell you something, maybe it is better you don’t know! Obviously, unleashing a well guarded secret never makes anyone happier. shemmugisha@gmail.com