How to deal with a manipulator

Manipulative behavior is exercising control over another without their will. In such situations, a victim unwillingly obeys what they are ordered to do in order to avoid exposure. Manipulators usually have selfish motives that they exercise in different forms. However the most common tactic that manipulators use is if they keep a secret against someone. At times keeping a secret is not worth the guilt and pain that comes under the control of a manipulator. It’s safer if you acknowledge your mistakes and apologize and move on with your life. How can to identify that your friend or partner is a manipulator? Try telling them something you are guilty of and you would want it to remain a secret. In most cases they will sympathize but later always joke about it in the presence of other people.Many people use guilt to manipulate others. They make statements about how unhappy they are, or talk about all of the nice things you have which they dont have. However, the easiest way to deal with guilt is to refrain from sharing too much information with people. It’s not advisable to tell them about everything going on in your life; for instance when you have a healthy relationship or are succeeding your career while theirs are in shambles. They will simply use the information to make you feel guilty, sorry and responsible for their shortcomings. Manipulators lie to get what they want. Once you have identified a lying manipulator, refuse to accept anything they say as true. Withhold your trust and explain to them that the lies must stop and they will have to prove themselves to earn your trust again.Tips on how to deal with manipulative people;Think of excuses you can use to avoid these people. Dont take their phone calls. Make yourself unavailable in their lives since distance is the defense against their manipulation. Confront them if it’s going over board, have a frank and upfront discussion about how you they treating you and how it makes you feel. If they continue acting the same way, then just don’t entertain them since a true friend respects your feelings. When a manipulator is family or a friend and you have no choice since they are part of your life, you just have to control them and don’t let yourself to be manipulated. Recognize their behavior for what it is and stop responding to it. Dorau20@yahoo.co.uk