Birth control: Whose responsibility is it?

While it takes two to make a baby, the question is; whose responsibility is it to watch out when the babies come and when they don’t? The uninformed guy will say it is the woman’s responsibility since she is the one who gets pregnant. The average guy will say it is more of the woman’s responsibility to watch birth control, since she knows more about her body and when she is likely to get pregnant—it is her natural task. However, a real man will realize that the actual responsibility falls on both the man and the woman since it takes two to tangle. There is a common myth that is surprisingly believed by many—that men have no control over their sexual desire and that they “can’t be expected to function logically during sexual intercourse”. This implies that for men, sex renders all other senses useless, including logic and reason. Therefore, for the sake of the couple, it is up to the woman to make sure that no unplanned pregnancies happen. This leaves the entire burden of safe sex and birth control to the woman. Maybe this total loss of logic and reasoning occurs to some men, but what I know is that most men are fully aware of what is going on the entire time. There is no loss of control, and certainly a responsible man will not let such an excuse be the reason to have a football team of kids. Of course, since most men are aware that women believe this lie, they take advantage of their alleged “weakness” and totally avoid any responsibility over issues regarding safe sex or birth control. This gives them a chance to blame women for “getting pregnant without planning”. Some time back, it was not uncommon for a man to want to impregnate a girl before marrying her, whether she wanted to or not. While some men did it to “see if the girl can give birth before he marries her”, some did it because they thought that was “the only way of tying down the girl, and making certain she doesn’t get taken by other men”. That has changed, getting pregnant with no plan results into several unpleasant consequences since we no longer live randomly. Everything has to have a plan. It is all a matter of talking about birth control and agreeing on what works for both of you. Some men hate using condoms, but there are other ways. Some women are allergic to the pills, which usually have side effects. Fortunately, there are better methods coming up every day, and it is no longer so taxing to decide when to get pregnant again. But still, a couple should be able to agree when to get the next baby. If all the birth control methods do not work for you, go for the permanent birth control methods; vasectomy or tubal ligation. From what I have heard, this too can be reversed in case you change your mind and feel like making more babies. In the end, no man has an excuse for not planning for their family and neither is there reason to claim that birth control is solely the woman’s responsibility. shemmugisha@gmail.com