Love is something that is seen as natural as breathing, something that just happens, but true love is something many people find scary. It demands so much of you, yet it gives so much. It hurts so much and heals its own wounds. I am a man who would run into a burning house, I am fearless at times, but when it comes to love I am the biggest coward on earth. Love requires courage, the courage to ignore dismissive friends, the courage to resist conformity, the courage to forgive, the courage to face shame, and the courage to change what others see is wrong. I see many of my friends try to love and commit but do not have the courage to do it. A newly-wed will be sat with his friends and taunted about being faithful, some will succumb and be like the rest, but few still resist because of lack of courage. Your friends will always tell you how to live your life and laugh at you, it takes courage to stand up and be your own person. This is because in the end, it is you who will face the consequences and not your friends; you just need the courage to face what is ahead. The biggest fear a human can face is rejection, no gun to your head is as frightening as facing rejection, the thought of opening your soul and another person seeing something ugly in inside you. We are all carrying inner scars, we always think our scars are the worst but they are no worse than anyone else. And that is the game the devil plays on your mind, that you are a fraud and if people really know who you were then they would hate you. When you face this devil and reject it then you are on the way to loving. Many married couples never open up to each other, many brothers and sisters never open up to each other, African parents rarely open up to their children. Love and fear cannot sit in the same heart, fear of rejection leads to fear of love. Love is courage, a mother will die for her kids but not for another woman’s kids, her love overcomes the fear. A wife can have the courage to endure the scorn of adultery knowing there is still real good in her man’s heart. Certain aspects of our culture are based around the pursuit of perfection, in beauty, in status, in power, in money, in education. The counter side to this is shame, shame when you feel you haven’t fulfilled the norm, rejection when others surpass you. The antidote to this is; knowing who you are, not letting people dictate to you, and having courage to love yourself and others. I see too many broken souls walking about, smiling but inside they are hurting, thinking their burden is the worst in the world. They are waiting for the fear to go away but it won’t go away, until you kill the devil of rejection. That will need courage to love. ramaisibo@hotmail.com
