Happy New Year! That is the common greeting these days; as we make a fresh start with a new year, nearly everybody is running below capacity. The pockets are suffering from a fever, not the likes of malaria or typhoid but a worse one. Surely, with Malaria, there is a quick fix, you walk into a pharmacy and walk out with a couple of CO-ARTEM tablets and in as few as three days, and you would kiss the malaria goodbye! But with this fever (that nearly everybody has caught), love it or hate it, there is no quick fix. This ailment is none other than “New Year Fever”(NYF), it affects both the young and the old, the males and the females alike if not worse. Many of us are currently in hibernation (hiding) because we cannot afford to see the landlords and landladies alike! After the numerous expenditures of the Chain Keepers as well as their offsprings, siblings as well as parents, the pockets are left trembling with this bad fever! Now, as I put my fingers to the Keyboard of my computer, I have just received an email from a friend that is announcing that, he is taking his annual leave, but just a few months ago, he had announced the same. Let me hope he is not hiding from the debts incurred as a result of the NYF, is he? But how many Annual leaves do you take? When I saw his notification, it reminded me of a guy we used to work together many years ago; he came to office weeping that he had just lost his Father. He was given condolences and all that goes with such an event and seenoff. Just a few months later, he lost his father once again for the second time! He went to the boss (who happened to be a Mzungu) to break the sad news! The Mzungu almost blew his head off, how many fathers do you have? the Mzungu shouted! Had it been me, I would have certainly told him that, the man who died earlier had mistakenly been declared to be my father, but after his death, I discovered my actual father! As the Baganda say, “when you mother is still alive, you can never be so sure about who your father is”. Sadly, the guy was at the brink of losing his job, he had to gather nearly all the highly placed staff members to come and beg the Mzungu (for him) kugira ngo amubabarire! Ukuri kurakiza! The Administration manager had to explain to the Red Hot Mzungu that, in Africa, all our Uncles are regarded as our fathers and that, last time, the poor chap had lost his uncle and now, he had lost his father for dala dala! Not an easy task convincing the Mzungu. As they say, “Alahu Akbar”, the guy was forgiven and told to go and burry his father. The Mzungu emphasised that, “make sure you burry him deep enough so that he does not resurrect only to die again”. With this guy that keeps going on leave every other few months, I hope he will not be given the same ultimatum eh! Sometimes, they say that, every liar should have a very good memory, not that I am trying to call my friend one; but the truth is that, you should endeavour to always remember what you tell others, lest you contradict yourself! As for me (Mfashumwana), the Chain Keeper (my wife) and our Offspring I would like to say, Happy New Year, Mugire Umwaka Muhire, wa ubwuki namata! (Have a nice year of honey & milk), Amen! mfashumwana@fastmail.fm
