Dear Aunt Silvia, I am a divorced mother of four sons and one daughter. I was a second wife to my husband, and we had lived together for thirteen years before our separation. My husband and his first wife became saved Christians and he was obliged by his church to divorce me, and remain with his first wife, which he did. For the last seven years that we have separated, he used to pay my children’s fees and up keep until about a year ago. The house which I live in, is mine but very old, in fact one side has come tumbling down leaving us almost out in the cold. I had three rental houses within my compound with tenants but was also destroyed by rains. Now I have no source of income and my ex-husband has refused to help me repair the houses so that I can get up keep money from the rentals. Also he has threatened to take all my children from me once school opens because I cannot afford to pay their fees. What do I do?Jane. Dear Jane,It is unfortunate that even the law here does not support a man marrying a second wife, and very little protection is offered. But what I know is that the law can protect your children and so, they can get what they deserve from their father. As a mother myself, I can imagine what you are going through; loosing your children to another woman. And a man who fathered them is frustrating you. Is it not possible, to ask the father of your children to continue taking care of his children while they are still with you, even if he wants to change school for them? Try not to despair, call him and talk to him; put the facts on the table for him to see that these children, are very young and they need their mother to be near them. First and foremost, when he comes to your house show him around the house, so that he can see where his children are spending the night, and also he has to know that it was a decision by both of you that you become his second wife, and if he has decided not to have you as his second wife anymore, then he has to make sure that you are well kept and comfortable. Where does he think you will go with five children? Fight for your rights and those of your children by making him understand. If push comes to shove seek legal redress. Ends
