‘No strings attached’ relationships on the rise

All over the world, there is an increasing popularity and rise of ‘no strings attached’ relationships. Today two people can have a love affair go on for as long as they wish, without causing friction in their “serious” or marital relationships. ‘No strings attached’ relationships are based on convenience and mutual understanding. They involve people who are already committed; in most cases engaged or married, but having a love affair outside their marital bonds. This is a risk of one’s emotional and physical health. Marriage, specifically among Christians is expected to last for eternity, through thick and thin, though there are high chances of boredom and growing apart. This results into some married people having extra marital affairs outside their marriage bonds. In this generation where very few people are willing to compromise their interests, individuals decide on what they want in an affair, and then set out to find that someone who can meet their needs. After 10 years in marriage, Peter Mulinga 38, realised he was getting bored with his wife and decided to find a girlfriend, “I decided to get a girlfriend not because I never loved my wife. No! I love and respect my wife but we must face reality. When you stay with somebody for long you get used to the person and it becomes crumbly boring”, he confesses. “I just wanted someone young to spice up my life because my wife concentrates on the house work and children so she gives me less attention. I can never marry the new catch, and she knows it because we agreed on the terms of our relationship”, he adds. Some other people will think ‘No strings attached’ relationships are inevitable today. “We are busy people, and we get busier every year, so we may not have the time to invest in a sequence of relationships that take us nowhere”, says Sam, 30; a marketing executive who adds that we are human and we still have the needs of human contact, to touch and be touched, and to serve our emotional needs. ‘No Strings attached’ relationships provide for such needs.Whether ‘No strings attached’ relationships really benefit both parties, still remains a point to ponder. It depends on one’s attitude. If love means commitment to one person, it may not work for such an individual to engage in a ‘No strings attached’ relationship’; which involves people who are already committed but having a love affair outside their marital bonds. Catherine Kutesa, a marriage counsellor, holds the beam on such relationships. She candidly explains that by nature people desire to love in a simple and down-to-earth way; still it is not easy to keep within the limits of love in the different kinds of relationships. “It is very difficult to keep two people from falling in love if they are always in touch; love has a way of twisting itself and catching us unawares. That is why it is important that people involved in a ‘No String attached’ relationship exercise maturity and mutual understanding”, she says. ‘No Strings attached’ relationships are based on a take it or leave it arrangement although not always expressed in basic terms. The people involved need to understand the difference between lust and love, and so protect their health, particularly that of their spouses who are not involved. Contact: ubernie@gmail.com