Humour: Villager: ‘East or West, home is best’

I have been busy unfolding to you life in the City, before I was rudely interrupted by the rampant power cuts. I suppose I am in the wrong place for a villager; everything here is running in overdrive. This reminds me the saying, “East or West, home is best”. A few days ago, while walking along the Sandton – Bryanston highway in Johannesburg, South Africa, I happened to be in the company of one friend from the soil, I literary kept dragging him by the arm to cross the road. Johannesburg is quite different from Kigali; if you attempt to cross the road any how, you may end up being arrested by Police and charged with anything ranging from “attempted suicide” or “attempted cause of accident” to “being unsound in mind”. As if that wasn’t enough, when we went to one of the Shopping Malls, my friend was punished for being a villager.Talk of malls or shopping centres, makes me imagine what the likes of Kisementi, Union Trade Centre or even MTN Centre would be called if they were in Johannesburg! A typical mall comprises of several shops; the likes of EDGARS, SHOPRITE, GAME, PICK N’PAY, WOOLSWORTHS, HI-FI CORP, NANDOS, STEERS and many others. While having a casual conversation with one South African, he wanted to know how our place looked like, there was literary nothing to boast of, and would I tell him of the UTC (Rujugiro) building! I suppose not, when you compare their Carlton Tower that is in excess of forty stories with our ECOBANK tower in Kigali. You know, there is a common Lingala saying, “Tambula na mokili, omona makambo” (literally meaning that he who has not travelled widely praises his own). Folks, before you traverse this world, you will never say that you know much! As for me, the Villager, I am soon graduating from being a villager to a Munyamujyi (City dweller). Eh! It is not an easy task, taking the villager out of a village and taking the village out of him, I suppose many of you agree with this theory. In Johannesburg, you will find the best roads down south of the Sahara. Yes, I cannot imagine how man would have built a storied road running up to five kilometres and carrying about eight to ten traffic lanes without even showing any signs of fatigue! Look at the African roads, just a few Semi-trailers cruise along them and they crumble in total shame! These roads are made of stashing lots of valuable minerals in the land. No wonder these people look at us with suspicion, they think we want to stay in their paradise forever and for these, they impose heavy Visa fees as a way of deterring us from getting into their land. Umva di, I have been feasting on their artificial foods, but now I am longing for the real food up there; man is surviving only on junk foods, I hope to escape from this hell of a place sooner than later, otherwise, if I stay longer, you might end up loosing the villager. Not that I will face the same fate as that of the Late Lucky Dube. I might end up being over “townised” that in the end; there will be no villager any more but “The Towner”. Contact: mfashumwana@fastmail.fm