When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, in other words, you can make the best out of the hardest situations. The path towards love is not all rosy, there are always bumps, infact huge potholes but what’s your role as a woman, in keeping things going? Are you the kind of Job’s wife, “Are you still holding your integrity? Curse God and die.” Which advice do you give to your man during emotional trials? Are there reasons or tasks you can relieve him of? Do you ever work on things together? How do you prioritize that every single problem doesn’t seem so overwhelming? Once you see your man struggling emotionally, just know it’s the perfect time to be that rational partner. If you are still that cry baby who will respond to your man’s ups and downs by seeking solutions from him, better change your mindset. “For men, fear or worry is often experienced as anger,” quotes nurturing your relationship, an online journal. And if that’s the case, as a woman you really have work to do so that you don’t lose your relationship to his emotions. Infact, his emotional times can be playing a role in strengthening the love bond between the two of you.Here’s how to get him out of that emotional dilemma, before it’s too late; Keep warm. All you need here is for your man to trust you, so he can open up, and reveal his problem. Men naturally don’t expose their emotions; it takes a warm person to make him release the valve. Meet him at the door, take his coat from him, and suggest he sits down. A warm home will always make a change. So you now know what is bothering him, the next step is knowing how best you can help, depending on the situation. Is it a termination from work? Is he mad at himself for not accomplishing ABC? Or it’s the financial crisis that both of you are undergoing? The most effective solution to any of the above is listening to him. Listen, listen and listen harder. Directing him about what he should have done will only make matters worse. On the contrary, listening to him will show that at least someone still believes in him. Imagine that out of the crowd, it’s you alone to help him, that’s why he is with you in the first place. And hey, watch what you say to him. Sometimes men can be hard and brutal on themselves. Imagine he is walking around feeling like he has let someone down-maybe at work or you his family-what’s a loving woman to do? Is he seeking for agreement or sympathy when he refers to himself as a loser? With such a case, avoid accusatory words. You just have to diffuse negativity and replace it with a positive attitude. Don’t even acknowledge he has said anything ridiculous; respond with a statement he can’t dispute. “My husband kept asking why it was him, to loose two daughters in the same year. My response was always, Iam glad I still have you,” says Sarah Mugeni. She had been married for 10 years. Re-assuring Mugeni’s husband about her thankfulness that he was in her life healed the wounds of losing two daughters. So is he still grieving? Men fall so hard when they lose something or someone. The other wise thing to do, would be trying to occupy their time in a good way! He doesn’t really need a charter box by his side but he needs someone creative enough to wash his worries away. Like they say; “If you can focus his attention on that and only that, you have done your job.” And as you help your better half, please, please be patient. True that he will harass you at times because of his mood swing. Or he will show that you haven’t done enough hence he is still in a terrible state. He might as well suggest that you leave him alone. But all the above shouldn’t make you give up. Rest assuredly, by the time you are done with him, your trust, passion and love will have improved greatly. Indeed you will have squeezed lemonade out of the bitter lemons. lillianean@yahoo.com
