When visitors overstay their welcome

After my undergraduate studies, I went to the city to find a job. Having no residence, I stayed with a friend, I had promised him to stay for only two weeks but due to scarcity of jobs I had to overstay in order to get more time to increase my search. Two weeks later, my friend began behaving strangely, always complaining about any small thing I did. Then one evening he simply and boldly told me that it was time for me to leave. “I think you better leave, another friend is visiting me tomorrow and will need some space, maybe after he will be gone you can come back.” he said. I later on realized that there was no friend visiting him, only that he was bored and tired of hosting me. Whether you are going to visit friends and family or if you are staying a little bit longer than that, there are rules that one should follow so that they don’t overstay or wear out their welcome. It can put a huge strain on one’s relationships when they don’t follow the guidelines. People love to have company come visit. What they don’t love is to be put in a position to tell those people it is time to move on. Here are some guidelines to help one not overstay their welcome: Most people will begin to give signs that they are ready for you to go home. Such things as mentioning that their “favorite” television show is coming on or that they are getting hungry and need to start dinner soon are often used. Take the hint as a sign that they are ready to be company free so that they can follow through with possible other plans. If you are visiting someone for an extended period of time, it helps if you help. Set the dinner table, wash the dishes or vacuum the floors. Keep your room clean and neat at all times. If you make a mess, clean it up. All of these things are helpful and won’t make your hosts feel as though you are taking advantage of the situation. This will ensure that they won’t feel bad about inviting you back. Respect the Host’s Space; People generally have their own way of doing things. It is important that you respect their space. Stay out of areas of the house that you don’t need to be in. Don’t nose into the medicine cabinets (as an example). Make sure the hosts have complete access to their home without making them feel alienated from it. Always knock before entering any rooms with closed doors. The hosts may be getting a shower or using the bathroom. They may also be getting dressed in their bedroom. Make your presence known before entering a room as well. A quick hello will let your hosts know that you are coming into a room so they can cover themselves in such cases. If you are staying for an extended amount of time because you need a place to live, keep in mind that it is only a temporary situation. If you don’t already have a plan, begin to make one immediately. Overstaying or wearing out one’s welcome is one of the worst things one can do to someone. It invades their space and it’s rude. Being a good friend or family member means knowing when it’s been too long. iruikmo@yahoo.com