How women are influencing men

Due to female influence and persistence, most men are finding it hard to resist the temptation of loosing their beliefs and chauvinistic behaviour. Beginning from gender roles, job distribution and other responsibilities, the consistent influence from women; their wives, mothers or sisters has prompted them to transform. Before they got married some men had beliefs that they thought they will not leave one day, but upon marriage their wives have been able to influence them to stop and adapt new ways of life. This does not only happen in marriage but also in relationships; most girlfriends have been able to influence their boyfriends in matters that seemed not okay to them before. Roslyne Kampoze, a 29 year- old mother of one in Kimironko has been married for 2 years to Christian Nzitunga and she narrates how she has been able to influence her husband in various aspects of their life. “When we first got married my husband used not to care on what kind of attire he should wear in terms of colour, but after we stayed together, I had to guide him to understanding how to match colours in clothing and right now he has adopted it and he appreciates.” “He used to believe that he is the head of the family and due to this, he is the one to decide on how the family runs, but with time, after being together we discuss, share ideas and agree on what to do together.” “Other things that have changed include his eating habits, initially as a ‘man’, he used not to care about what time to eat and what to eat, but currently I remind him and he appreciates. But above all this he sometimes helps me with the cooking,” says Kampoze. For instance in various African countries, physicians have traditionally been men, and the few people who defied that expectation received a special job description: “woman doctor”. Similarly, there were special terms like “male nurse”, “woman lawyer”, “lady barber”, “male secretary,” etc. But currently, medical doctors are predominantly women, and it is very common for all of the barbers in a barber shop to be women. Also, throughout history, some jobs that have been typically male or female have switched genders. For example, hair dressers in Saloons used to be women, but currently men are on the lead in this occupation. Shadrack Ntare, a male hairdresser at Imanzi Saloon in Kimironko Market, recalls how he first joined the practice. “I have been working as a hairdresser for the past 17 years. I was first introduced to this kind of job by a lady friend who encouraged me that there was nothing wrong with working on women’s hair. At first, I was reluctant but after a continuous influence and urge, I joined and I’m happy to work as a hairdresser.” A few years ago this kind of thing was an abomination among the men folk but due to women influence they are doing it, and enjoy their trade. It is seen by some in society that such a gender role for a man is not acceptable. These, and other societies, impose expectations on the behavior of the members of society, and specifically on the gender roles of individuals, resulting in prescriptions regarding gender roles. Currently due to women’s influence men have been able to adapt to this regardless of their cultural background and societal predispositions. Working fathers are spending time with their children under 13 years. Moms spend about the same time compared with a few years ago. Men are also taking more responsibility for their children’s care, which includes managing child care arrangements. Men take most or an equal share of child care responsibilities. Women agree that dads are stepping up, with 30 percent saying their spouse takes or shares the responsibility. “It has clearly become more socially acceptable for men to be and to say they are involved in child care, cooking and cleaning over the past three decades than it was in the past,” Miss Alice Nturo at Kibagabaga said. In essence the male beliefs are diminishing day by day due to women influence. The big question is are women beliefs also diminishing so that all the parties arrive at the same goal? iruikmo@yahoo.com