Who pays the bills?

She finally agreed to have dinner with you. You chose a classy restaurant, and the dinner was lovely. The bill is brought, and placed on the table. And she reaches for it... There are two possibilities; you beat her to it and get it. Or, you let her take it. Whatever way you look at it, I think it is always safer for the man to pay the bill. My reasoning is that with women, nothing is ever what it seems. She might pick the bill, but you can’t be certain that she is going to pay with one mind, and with no hidden motives. She might pick the bill, just to see if you will stop her. If you don’t, she then takes a star off your wall, just for not doing “what you are supposed to do”. In fact, there is no guarantee that she is planning to pay simply because she has picked up the bill. No sir, women are not like that! She could pick it, look at it, and replace it on the table. You, in your deluded imagination, are fantasizing that she is actually going to pay. And that’s where you go wrong; why do you have to be in a situation whereby you fantasize about her paying bills? If you can’t afford to take her out and pay for it, just don’t do it, man! However, she could also pay the bill, which takes us back to square one; you simply can’t know why she paid the bill.But to avoid stereotyping; not all women are the same. Some women actually have no problem paying the bill. They don’t think it’s a big issue when it comes to who pays the bill, even if it’s the very first date. To such women, a man is not judged by whether he can pay the bill or not. So, the woman will pay the bill, with no underlying motives or traps, and next time, the man can pay. Perfect equilibrium, something we all wish for. Unfortunately, this stuff rarely happens and in the case of Rwanda, that is another story. The nature of the relationship between a man and a woman also has an influence too, but it’s slight. For instance, in the case where the girl is actually the one interested in the guy, I believe the man should insist on paying the bill. There are a few things you can do to maintain your masculinity, even if you are the one being asked out. It’s the same case if the girl is actually richer than you. Fine, let her pay, once in a while but don’t leave that whole project to her; the one who carries the wallet usually has a lot of say in what goes on in a relationship. You are the man, play your part. And be a man about it. There is no business about paying the bill, and then sulking over it. Women have been conditioned to expect such things from their men.shemmugisha@yahoo.com