Confidence

He isn’t that rich. He has an average job, and lives an average lifestyle. But there is something about him that makes other men listen to him, and women find totally irresistible. He has confidence, that character trait that all men wish for but few actually possess. With all of the various social, moral and romantic quagmires in today’s society, it’s easy to lose confidence in your own abilities. There is always someone who is richer than you, more skilled than you, better connected than you. If you use your shortcomings to judge your self-worth, your confidence is going to suffer. And yet that is one of the few personality traits that actually get you going places. Every woman likes a confident man. Of all the things women find attractive in a man, confidence is number one. The wise man will understand this and use it to his advantage. If you’re going to have any level of success with women, you’re going to have to be confident, or learn to fake it. There are a few tell tale signs about a confident man. Fortunately, confidence can be learnt;Style Your outward image is the only way you can convince people you don’t know that you are worth something. It’s how you carry yourself that really matters. Work on your posture and smile more. Be in control of yourself, your arms and your legs. Nervous gestures only work to tear away at the impression you create on people. Simply put; act cool. Conversation If you’re someone who has a real problem interacting with strangers, then a good way to gain some social grace is to just start talking. Start slow and simple; a hello to the fellow serving your food at your restaurant, or good morning to your neighbour in the taxi. Baby steps, folks. Soon, you will be able to avoid getting nervous while talking to a large group. Be Fearless or at least feign it. This one may sound like non-advice, but I’m not advocating confidence as a cure for a lack of confidence. If it was that easy I would have stopped there. What this means is that you need to identify all of your irrational fears such as: fear of rejection and fear of awkward pauses. Then you have to realize that they are simply mental projections. There is nothing dangerous about a rejection; you don’t lose anything that you had before. Success The fact is that success is an addictive and evolving process. Every new victory gives you fuel to power your way through the next hurdle. It doesn’t have to be anything major. You don’t have to be a captain of industry. Start with something small, and then move on to bigger and bigger things. Everything starts with a single step in the right direction. But being confident is different from being cocky. “Confident” and “cocky”, on the surface, they appear to be almost the same thing - and in fact, they come from the same place, and hold much the same outward appearance. The difference ultimately is the internal motivation. People who really are confident show it easily. Those that try to appear confident (without some coaching) come off as cocky. It isn’t hard to pick out a cocky man, and believe me, no one likes a cocky man because he comes off as a fake. shemmugisa@gmail.com