Relationships: Is marriage really that?

Whether marriage is hard an affair or not, it still beats the odds of loneliness to get married especially if one has to leave that single life and join the college of family responsibilities. But is marriage really hard? I happened to meet Fiona, a banker at 34; she is such a determined young lady who stood by her words and thoughts to shun the discouragements from her pals. When Fiona announced to her friends that she was getting married, the immediate response was, “Are you serious? “Marriage is hard why do you want to get married when you are still young? Surprisingly, Fiona went ahead with preparations and got married. “By the time I told my friends, we (my fiancée and I) had already set dates for the introduction ceremony and wedding, I just had to close my ears to all the negative responses” said Fiona. She adds that the reactions from her friends left her wondering whether she had really made the right and informed decision. Deep inside, she says, I really felt I was ready to get married, but my friends kept on discouraging me that I should wait. Fiona is now 6 years old in marriage and according to her she has never looked back. She is enjoying her marriage, something she attributes to the counselling they received as a couple before marriage. “Before we got married we were very lucky to receive counselling lessons from the Church and our parents and I feel this was very important because we were taught how to cope with surprises both negative and positive”, said Fiona. Rightly quoting her words she said, “I want to assure you that we are happily married now because we took these teachings very serious as a couple. This doesn’t mean we have not had any problems in our marriage, but every time we disagree on something we try to solve it amicably by consulting our parents because we believe they have more experience than we do in marriage.” The likes of Fiona are a handful in today’s society and this explains why a good number of people will wrongly tell you marriage is hard even when they have never been married. If statements like, “marriage is hard” made sense then it would be impossible to find people like Fiona who are happily married. It has been a practice for some people to tell others how to run their marriages, without leaving them room for personal decisions. Preparing for marriage means seeking advice from reliable (mark my word) people like parents, Church leaders and perhaps friends and relatives who have experience and a vast knowledge about the marriage institution. As a result, inexperienced couples today complain to and coach each other on what to do to with their partners without mature and proper guidance. This is what makes marriage “hard.” But where does the problem start? At the point where the parents, Church leaders don’t take trouble to prepare these young people for marriage. Nobody can tell you how to run a marriage, but teaching young people the principles will make the institution more enjoyable and fulfilling for them, than thinking that they will learn on the job. When young people discuss with fellow ignorant peers, the most likely result will be broken or discordant homes, which are a bleeding ground for problem children. The chain continues until the marriage becomes a curse. Marriage lessons or teachings need to continue even after the marriage ceremony. Parents need to prepare their children for marriage besides being role models. And for the married couples nobody should dictate how to run your marriage. Different marriages demand different methods of management. Seeking proper guidance, listening to each other and sorting out any issues that keep appearing in marriage, will save your marriage from crumbling down. You will eventually discover that marriage has never been “hard” like some people say. Ends