In general, I don’t believe in this “connect me to that girl” thing, because it really never works for me. I can’t totally discredit it, because it has worked for some people I know. But I’d rather get my own woman. If I can see her, I can get her for myself. The whole idea of connecting a guy to a chic is based on the simple fact that the guy is scared of approaching the girl by himself. Low self esteem, low levels of confidence, and more interesting, it is a shortcut, a bribe of sorts; you use some one the girl is friendly with to get you into her good books. If I was a girl, and a guy sent someone to talk to me about him, I wouldn’t really think much of the guy. I wouldn’t understand why he would need someone else to talk for him, to tell me what he wants to tell me. That small doubt about his methods would undermine my opinion of him, and so I don’t think I’d even get interested in him. I mean, why can’t he talk to me himself? But I am not a woman, and I can’t say I have never sent a guy to talk to a girl for me. Once upon a time, long ago, I asked a friend to connect me to his sister. Even though I visited the guy’s house almost every day, and I saw the girl very often, I couldn’t tell her myself. So he went and told his sister. But then his sister asked him why I couldn’t tell her myself. And I felt more embarrassed than if I had asked her out and she had rejected me in public. I did see the logic in her reasoning. From that day on, I always get my own women. There is a slight variation, however. Let’s say you don’t know the girl, and from what your friend tells you, she is just right for you. And of course you need a girlfriend, just like every man. You friend paints an irresistible picture, and naturally you get interested and want to get to know her. But you and she never cross paths. So, you enlist the services of a middle man. There are two ways to doing this; both the girl and the guy know that the middle man is introducing them to each other. Or, the girl doesn’t know what is going on. She thinks she is just meeting her friend, and this other guy also happens to be there, by coincidence. The middleman will then fake an excuse and leave the potential couple to get some time together. If the girl can’t smell such a set-up, she is really naive. It should be obvious from the way the conversation seems to center around her only, and the way the middle man gets some really lame excuse and runs off. Then there is this thing we call “passes”. I am with a friend of mine (a girl), and a friend of mine (a guy) comes along. He might have indicated interest in the girl. What I do is to make him a “pass”. Cleverly and without alerting the girl, I bring my friend the guy into the conversation. Then I fade out of the conversation once I notice that the guy and the girl are flowing. This usually happens on short notice; at parties or at chance meetings and the guy who is interested in the girl has to be able to sell himself to the girl, because the guy who gives him the “pass” doesn’t say anything to the chic about him. This is ok, and I wouldn’t mind it if I was a chic; it is creative. But whatever the case man, every guy should be able to get his own woman. Then you are certain she is exactly what you want and not the middle man’s choice for you. And of course you have heard of the cases where the middle man goes to execute the mission of connecting his friend to a certain girl, and instead ends up getting the girl himself; the guy is a man too, he, too, is capable of feeling the attraction. The girl could find his confidence and eloquence irresistible and end up falling for him instead of the intended guy. shemmugisha@gmail.com
