Snap him out of possessiveness

It was coming to midnight and I was almost getting late for the long awaited girls night out. I had missed my girls too much that I would not stop picturing all the gossip and jokes in store for me. I simply could not wait. But my boyfriend was so sad and restless! With the grave look on his face, I needed no rocket scientist to tell me how crazy my boyfriend was. In a cold tone, he confirmed all my assumptions, “I can’t believe that you are trying hard to entice guys! Why else would you put on such a revealing blouse? You do not even care about leaving me all alone,” he blurted out. Hours passed as we wastefully debated about my outing! Missing the outing was like rubbing salt in my already painful wound. On many occasions, my boyfriend determinedly made my intended outings impossible. He constantly accused me of being double faced since I never greeted any male in his presence but he would later get to know about my interaction with them. One Sunday, while I was so lost in praise and worship at church, a message came to my phone, “I am sure you are flirting with all those brothers at church. Surely you will pay for this.” That is when I thought of quitting this hopeless relationship. “Life’s far too short to wait around and place it on hold to hold so as to hold someone else’s,” this statement kept ringing in my head. Many women, dealing with a possessive man proves to be rather difficult, as they have to undergo lots of mental torture and a loss of freedom. A possessive man tends to question your behavior, your whereabouts and even why you talk to people. A meant to be good relationship ends up in hews of black and white or even a breakup. How to tame Mr. Possessive Where there is smoke, there is fire. In other words, your boyfriend/husband may be possessive but there is a cause for it. Trust me; no one would want to be nagging and to expose his insecurity. Possessiveness often comes with someone’s background. If a man has grown up in a broken family that lacks love, it is obvious that he will want to protect what he believes belongs to him. In this case, the only way to help would be showing total commitment to such a guy. What he needs is a little more of your time, compliments and assurance that things will only get better, not worse. Understand your spouse. Is he selfish naturally? Does he get possessive because he cares or it is one way to exploit you? Knowing the cause will definitely give you the remedy to the situation. With a possessive guy who does it out of care, he will always be ready to listen and change; on the contrary, an exploitative man will even enjoy it when you are his prisoner.Give him a second chance. After talking to him about how irritating his behavior is, always give your man room to change and realise his mistakes; remember ‘Rome was not built in a day’. Possessiveness is a habit so it needs time and double efforts to fight it. You could even give him a break, when he gets to miss you, he will realize the consequences of his actions, so he will change. In addition, when he changes, you will rest assuredly have him forever because possessive men always care. They certainly sulk and want you around because you have captured an important part of his heart. lillianean@yahoo.com