Women living in dream-land Is there “Perfect Mr. Right orMr. Right”

It’s enough to make even the securest of men feel less than adequate, less attractive, and less desirable and perhaps even less than a man. And it’s all because of those images, you know, the ones that, day in and day out, we are shown on TV, in magazines, newspapers and in movies. They are images of “the beautiful people,” the ones with the good looks, the perfect bodies and the big dose of celebrity. They are the ones who come to mind in response to the apparent growing notion among some ladies who say that when it comes to relationships, “it’s Mr. Perfect or nobody at all.” That idea has delivered a crippling blow to the ego and self-esteem of thousands of good, capable, responsible men who just happen to be “simple” guys. They are not on TV; they are not on the runways modeling the products of local designers (For the modelling business, it’s another story for another day); they are not multimillion-francs athletes or entertainers; and they are not staring back at you from the silver screen, feeding women’s fantasies. They are ordinary, average guys who go to work every day in a variety of 7am-to-5pm jobs; they pay their bills; they obey the law; they seek fulfilling relationships with women, and they are a part of the group that many describe as “the beauty of the planet” But as seemingly desirable as these men appear to be with characteristics that many women say they look for in a man, they not only are not at the top of some women’s list, they aren’t even on the list when it comes to love and romance. The reason? Some women themselves will tell you, without hesitation, that now that there is more access and opportunity in the employment arena, many are primarily devoted to their careers, plus they are more likely to be financially stable and are less likely to want to put forth the effort of establishing and sustaining a meaningful relationship, unless it is with someone whom they consider not just Mr. Right but the perfect Mr. Right. This is by no means a new phenomenon, but it has been taken to a new level. In this day and time, it’s apparently in style for women to be single by choice, and some women ‘career-minded, independent and more choosy’ than ever wear that distinction like a badge of honour. But as frustrating and puzzling as this slap in the face is for some men, men need to know and understand that despite not being on some womens’ A- relationship list because they don’t meet their imagination criteria and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a simple guy! Let’s be clear about this: Those women who limit their choices and only consider their imagination-figures don’t represent the majority of women. In reality, most women look beyond the surface and consider things like personality, intelligence, consideration and dependability as a part of the love quotient. They know that the package’s wrapping is not more important than the package itself. Most look forward to emotional warmth, sensitivity and nurturing in a man. Ask any woman (well, any reasonable, sensible woman) and she’ll tell you that the real beauty of a man is his confidence, his self-esteem, his attention to responsibility and duty. You don’t have to be on TV or in the soaps to be “Mr. Perfect.” You might not be a celebrity, but you can be a star who just happens to be a regular guy. When you take the step to improve a situation when no one else will, when you are the willing, conscientious role model that you should be, When you make a difference instead of making excuse, when you become a mentor to that child who needs your direction, , when you take a stand even when no one else is standing, when you extend yourself to assist those who need a helping hand, when you right a wrong, and when you know when to lead, when to follow and when to get out of the way. All these are qualities that can make a man the envy of all other men, and the dream of most women with the celebrity dose. The fact that you don’t show-off yourself in the glare of the spotlight, should not determine the level of your self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth. In the real world, the foundation of our society rests on the shoulders of simple and humble men (and women) who may never stand in the glare of the celebrity spotlight, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t the cream of the crop. Every woman has the right to determine what she needs in a man, what she needs to make her happy and fulfilled with no regard to how grand her desires are. But are too many being unrealistic? Too picky? To the point that they are denying themselves the beauty of a satisfying relationship while they seek and wait for impossible ideals! What is it about a woman, who won’t even give a man the time of day if he doesn’t have the credentials that fit her imagination? True, it’s her choice and, at the same time, perhaps her loss. She has to understand that “Mr. Perfect can come in all forms, even in the form of a simple guy, one who can listen to a woman and hear what she’s saying, one who realizes that the courtship should never end, one who knows how to love a woman the way she should be (and needs to be) loved. See, it’s all about perception and preference but it goes both ways. Those women who say “it’s Mr. Perfect or no one at all,” what’s to say that they, themselves, are the cream of the crop? So, if you’re a guy, keep on doing what you’re doing, you have no reason to feel inadequate. There should be no shame in your game! jeav202@yahoo.com

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Women living in dream-land Is there “Perfect Mr. Right orMr. Right”