Rachel’s Ramblings : The relationship intruder

Something most women are scared to admit is that they are 100 per cent secure in a relationship. Reason being, there are those outsiders that make them feel like crap! Flrence had just fallen for Peter and she was truly, madly and deeply in love with him. Peter made her feel like a queen. Unfortunately he made all his other female friends feel like queens too! Every time Florence visited Peter over the weekend, she found other women with him. At first it was cool but later it got out of hand—she literally never had alone-time with him! To cut the long story short, she put up with three months and hordes of girl pals before she dumped him. This story is not just about a boyfriend’s friends, the real issue is when his ex-girlfriend is always in the equation! Almost all women are bothered by an ex’s presence in her man’s life. They might trust their guys but Heaven knows what the ex-girl is up to! And even though exes are sincerely not out to reclaim what was once theirs, her presence is always a threat. You look at her like some poisonous bug that needs to be immediately squashed. If you are not good at concealing your insecurity then you’re finished. Never give another woman the satisfaction that she is getting to you. And if your man is a “she’s harmless-just ignore her” type, then you need to be ordering for your tombstone! There are those exes who mean to be all over the place. Every time you’re out with your boyfriend or husband, she conveniently shows up! She lingers around and makes no effort to avoid flirting with your man, right in your presence! The worst part is when she tries to make you a friend. You see, the thing is you’re not at all interested in being her friend. All you want is for her to vanish into thin air or worse, drop dead! If you’re really unlucky she will start making unannounced visits to your boyfriends place. On a day when he’s having friends over, she will work her way around the house like a pro, giggle with all his mates and generally just make you feel like a sitting lame duck! If you are married you’re lucky because you can just put your foot down and say enough is enough. It’s your house too so you have the right to say who’s welcome and who’s not! But this particular problem is mostly for the ones who are just dating. No girl wants her boyfriend’s ex loitering and hovering around him, especially if they remind you of a Victoria’s Secret model! You try not to smile with her yet you secretly wish she would be hit by a speeding bus. Honesty is the best policy. Avoid the, ‘Keep your friends close and your enemies closer’ deadly game. Don’t play it. There has got to be a way of confronting your man’s ex, woman to woman. Tell her to cool it off without ripping off her wig! The ex-girl on a mission is a deadly one. Mess with her if you must! And if she’s so determined on getting what was once hers, you’re in for some drama. I think it’s safer to stay out of it and let your man handle it if he can. If he says ‘he can’t’ and yet you know for a fact that what he really means is that ‘he doesn’t want to’ then walk out the door with dignity and never look back because you mean no more to him than a song to a deaf man. If he stands up to her and tells her to get a life then congratulate yourself on finding a real man. Make him a nice dinner, share a bottle of wine and then pray the ex doesn’t turn into some deranged stalker! cjanzi83@yahoo.co.uk