Many times, we take it upon ourselves to say what we say, with little regard of when and how we say it. I am not trying to be pessimistic but just putting the bare truth in the open. On a more recent incident, having heard of the many tales of the numerous “Flowers” that grow both domestically and in the wilderness in this land of a thousand hills! Who wouldn’t dare to come and have a look for themselves? A number of Nairobi residents decided to hit the road and come over to Kigali for their eyes’ nutrition. A one Kamau, a resident of Nairobi decided to have his own “Takeaway” all the way from Nairobi, whereas the rest of his friends decided to come and find the “flowers” here. Kamau, a well to do guy was to provide his car so that, they would drive to Kigali via Uganda. That was ok, the only problem was for Kamau to find an “alibi” for his travel. After a long brainstorming session, it was decided that, he would tell his wife that, him, together with two of his colleagues were travelling to Kisumu (in Western Kenya) on duty-cum-business. Come the actual travelling day, the two guys came to Kamau’s home so that the wife would know that they were together. The trio hit the road and after a dozen or so hours, they were beginning to “smell” the Land of a Thousand Hills. Nothing was gona stop them now, they easily processed their vehicle at the Katuna – Gatuna border crossing. Thanks to the East African Community, they did not pay a penny. Within an hour of leaving the border, the trio were in Kigali. They checked into their hotel (they had arranged a booking through their Kenyan brothers in Rwanda). Having arrived on a Friday, their first stop was slated to be “Embassy of Kenya” aka Carwash aka Roasters. The guys could not believe their eyes; their heads kept rocking from side toside as if they were “wipers”! Tuskers and Pilsners were flowing like rivers, nyama choma, kacumbali and kila kitu life was good. When you are having fun, time rushes like hell. Kamau had to bid his friends good night so that he could go and attend to his “importee”. He drove off and as he was approaching the “Kanzaire” Bus Stop, he was stopped by the Traffic Police who requested him to blow into the breathalyser alcohol level tester. He was found to have consumed nearly three times the allowed volume and was subsequently requested to step out of his vehicle. Instead of being polite and eating a humble pie, he began lecturing the good “masters” of the road; he told them of how stupid their actions were and how they were tampering with a potential investor blah, blah, blah! Being humans, their “wires got cut and they decided to apply the law and apply it hard on the offending Kamau. In the ensuing exchange, the “imported flower” fled from the car and disappeared because she feared featuring in the scandal, lest her name appears in the news papers in her home country. Maybe she was someone else’s flower after all! The next morning, Kamau’s friends could not locate im. Since they were here for the weekend, on Sunday evening, they jumped on the STARWAYS Coach for Nairobi as they could not locate their “driver”. Meanwhile, the Carwash team decided to search for Kamau left and right and ended up tracing him in one of Police stations around Kigali; he was serving a 6 months term for drunken driving. Imagine what the wife is thinking? The man was supposed to be in Kisumu but ended up being locked up nearly 1000km across two ountries! Can he explain this? I guess not so! mfashumwana@fastmail.fm
