TRUE MAN : He doesn’t gossip

Where does having a lively conversation start turning into “gossiping”? Sure, everyone talks, everyone tells others about other people, but NOT everyone gossips. Gossiping used to be a women’s thing, and it was socially acceptable, as “part of being a woman”. But unfortunately, it is becoming a man’s thing too. Gossiping could be disguised as socialising, but I consider it the not-so-good part of social behavior. It’s all about backbiting, rubbing dirt on people, and getting a chance to judge someone without having that person present to have his/her say. It is more of a cowardly act than a social habit. Rarely do you find woman talking about someone, and only saying good things about her. Sooner than later, the conversation turns to her shortcomings, her crude behavior, her selfishness, her “wiseaking because she thinks she is so educated”, and “how she thinks she is rich just because she bought a car”. And interestingly, the gossipers are usually the victim’s close “friends”. In their talk, it isn’t hard to spot the jealousy, envy, and malice that is understated in their words. Now when a man lowers himself to such petty talk, backbiting, and slandering against someone else, that is so wrong. It is being cheap. That man loses the point of being a man by stooping that low. To most of the women who gossip, they actually find it stress relieving and relaxing. But they also know that gossiping is a double-edged sword. As much as you give it out, you too are a potential victim. So, they might like to gossip, but they don’t like people who gossip. It becomes worse when it is a man doing the gossiping; women are never attracted to such men, there is something not solid about such a man. Do you ever wonder why most women tend to trust men friends more than women friends? Gossiping is one of the reasons, and the underlying factor is TRUST. Most women have a natural inclination to gossiping, and consequently, they aren’t very trustworthy with sensitive information. On the other hand, because men aren’t known for gossiping, it is easier to trust a man, believing that your secret might be better well kept. But when a man does gossip, just like the women, he betrays that structure, that solid base that identifies him as a man. Unfortunately, more and more guys are gossiping away now days, some aren’t even aware they do it. It isn’t rare to find guys exchanging intimate details about a certain chic, or to find a group of guys hurdled, whispering and giggling like little girls, gossiping like a bunch of idle women. That says a lot about the quality of men, fathers are breeding these days. A man that doesn’t have time for gossiping gives an impression of being responsible, mature, self controlled, and decisive. He makes his own decisions and opinions without relying on hearsay, and he is confident enough not to feel the need to trash another person’s success by rubbing it off to cheap luck. Also, he is courageous enough to face whoever he wants to, without going behind their backs and firing cheap shots at them. That is a sign of a true man. shemmugisha@gmail.com