Lessons your mother should have taught you

10. Be selective in friendships: Friendship is not charity; it is a give-and-take relationship. Your friends should be people you love, admire and respect. Do not be afraid to expand, or change your circle of friends, as you get older and mature. Remember it is okay to distance yourself from friends who no longer fulfil you. Hold this person in your heart, but be true to yourself when devoting time, energy and emotion to anyone you seriously consider a ‘friend’. 9. Re-invent yourself when necessary: It helps to constantly reflect and assess your personal, academic and professional goals and alter your lifestyle accordingly. The beauty of this is that you do not have to beat yourself up about behaviour you consider undesirable. Instead, stand up tall that you have enough sense to realise your error and can spontaneously commit to change. 8. Protect yourself: Y ou are not corny or lame if you insist on an HIV test before having sex with someone. In fact, you’re stupid to give up responsibility for your health and put your life in someone else’s hands. 7. Jealousy is a wasted emotion: People who love themselves and recognise their worth are unable to be jealous of others. When you love yourself and desire to change what you don’t like, you have no time to worry about what others are doing. You cannot control other people, the choices they make or the luck they have. Weak people let other people’s circumstances affect their self-love and/or self-worth. Resist the temptation to be envious, as it will get you nowhere. If anything, let other people motivate you to achieve certain goals for yourself. 6. Carry yourself like a lady/gentleman: Embrace that which makes you a woman or man, and by all means, take advantage of the privileges that come with it. 5. Keep up with current events : Staying in touch with what’s going on in the world is very important. Not only is it important to be aware of national and global issues, it makes you a lot more interesting to others because you always have something to talk about. It doesn’t take much to watch the news or read the newspaper. 4. Travel: Do you have a passport? If not, get one. Before you are saddled with the responsibilities of a job and a family, take advantage of your freedom and travel. Instead of buying a new outfit, buy a plane ticket. See other parts of the world and observe other cultures. More importantly, have fun! Plan a trip with a friend to a social event in another city, a beach on an island, or a city in a foreign country. Capture your memories with photos or in a diary (or a blog). You will cherish them forever. 3. Be proud to be black: Black culture and heritage is based on strength, perseverance, and rich talents. This should give you an overwhelming sense of cultural pride. Don’t ever feel as if you aren’t equal to another person simply because you are black. Read more about black culture, and educate other cultures about the beauty and greatness of being black. 2. Have a cause: It is your duty as a human being to help make the world a better place. Let your natural talents and passion lead you to an issue that keeps your attention, and to which you can commit your time and money. Get involved with groups that already exist. Helping others is an easy way to feel good about yourself, and invest in the future of your community. 1. Love yourself: This is the foremost yet challenging mission to accomplish. Self-love is critical to survival at any age, and may be quite a personal journey. Loving yourself means recognising, developing and honouring a sense of self-worth. It also means you have zero tolerance for anyone or anything that doesn’t love you and respect you. Loving yourself also means you must treat yourself well, simply because no one else will do it for you. Remember that: “If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it”. And again, “Be yourself; everybody else is taken”. dedantos2002@yahoo.com