To marry or not to marry, that’s the question

“I do not have money to run a home or sustain a family.” Such and many other related excuses are what really inspired me to address this point. When you take some time inquiring how much a person with such an excuse has, you may even lose the hope of at least seeing this man take up his responsibilities. People always tend to confuse and turn away whenever such concerns are addressed. Of course not all people turn around in pretence especially those with the good and right reasons. But others with hidden agendas, I will address this once for all. Although it appears and one may believe there are no time limits for marriage, there is also that time when one has to explain the delay. Not in the courts of law or the police but just before a female soft spoken civilian who fails to believe one’s martial status. “You cannot convince me that a normal and serious man will come to his late 40s or early 50s without a permanent partner. I believe such men are those who keep on disappointing ladies, running up and down until they lose their partners to other faithful (serious) men,” says Susan Umutoni, university student. “In my opinion, I believe it’s good to have serious investigations before making up your mind to go with such a man. But at the age of 40 and above, one should have either made up his mind or with a permanent partner strategy on marriage,” Umutoni observes. The state (singlehood) however depends on both sides of male and female. As the male attach the delay to financial status and others related, the other side alleges time to do it basing on challenges of making a right choice. “I have decided to stay in a girl friend- boy friend relationship because whenever I try to address the marriage view, my friend tells me it’s not yet time,” says Eugen Byamugisha, a special hire at UTC stage in the city centre. Byamugisha is indeed worried of how the lover treats him on marriage issues. “I am not sure if this girl loves me for real. I am aging each day. I feel small whenever I go to the village. I am suspecting my family members have started doubting me as far as marriage is concerned.” Although Byamugisha could not disclose how old he is, he appears a respectable man by all standards. Claudine, a hair dresser in Remera, says marriage is not an easy decision to make although she believes it possible when the right time comes. “I have to think about it and when to make a decision on marriage. You know marriage is a lifetime strategy which requires being very careful to avoid a miserable future and this is through proper choice,” she said. However, she pointed out that to her the right time is when she gets the right person for marriage. In comparison, if Claudine’s opinion is not different from Byamugisha`s lover, like any other person out there in the same game, Byamugisha risks a lifetime disappointment. Ends