Fiction : The pen which just wouldn’t write……

“This is the third and the last time am announcing in this congregation of the intended holy matrimony between Mr. Karemwo and Miss. Kanyotu. If there is anybody who objects or has a reason as to why the two should not marry, please, raise your hands up or if shy please make a point of seeing me after the sermon.” The man of the cloth announced to the apprehensive flock. Nobody in the congregation was opposed to the upcoming wedding. As a matter of fact, the whole village couldn’t wait to witness Mr. Karemwo marry. Mr. Karemwo was in his late forties and an established businessman. By all standards, he was as normal as any other in his village. He grew, schooled and now wanted to marry at the same village namely Gitarama. Mr. Karemwo’s relatives were the most excited. They had all along been bothered by Mr. Karemwo’s social status. At his age, he was supposed to have long married. Indeed he was supposed to be having children like the rest of his age mates. He surprised many by his lack of interest with women since his teenage. His aunties were particularly notorious in bringing a collection of ladies to his residence in the hope that he would wake up from his state of romantic slumber. With all their effort, they did not manage. They would even provoke him verbally but he kept on telling them that he would marry when the right time came. It is after a lot of persuasion and great challenges from friends and relatives that Mr. Karemwo succumbed to the pressure. He naturally didn’t have the attraction to the members of the opposite sex. While his friends went “bird hunting” at teenage, he normally was left behind. He could not see the need and often wondered what was so exciting about dating girls. Mr. Karemwo divulged with one of his aunties to get for him someone he could marry. That was quite a diminutive task for her and within no time she brought a young and beautiful lady to him. It was easy for her to get one since Karemwo was financially stable. “You got to have a J.O.B. if you want to be with me.No romance without finance, I said no romance without finance,” Sang Gwen Gutherie. News spread like bush fire that Mr. Karemwo is finally getting married. The whole village anticipated the wedding ceremony. The man of the cloth and his flock were over excited since one of their faithful was finally tying the knot. Mr. Karemwo was not required to mingle with his would to be wife by church regulations until after they had solemnly made the vows. Wedding plans were hurriedly done and within a month, it was all set. As it is the norm, the bride was the centre of attraction. She wore the most expensive wedding gown. The entire village congregated at the venue of the ceremony that Saturday morning. The organizers did a brilliant job because everything was colourful and all went fine. There was plenty to eat and drink. The ceremony was the talk that whole week. Miss. Kanyotu, now, Mrs. Karemwo had planned for a unique honeymoon. She had dreamt of this memorable time since she was a teenage girl. Soon after the wedding, they were both whisked into a limousine to an evening party at Kigali Serena Hotel. They dined, wined, danced and kissed. The selected guests at the party were really impressed by the newly just married couple and wished them happy tidings. The proverbial bed of roses however turned to be an ugly experience which Miss. Kanyotu wouldn’t have imagined. After seductively undressing before her man, to her amazement, she noticed he was not interested. “Ooh boy! I am so tired. Today is only our first day and we will be living together for a whole lifetime. Let’s try it tomorrow. Please, darling,” Karemwo suggested to his wife. Kanyotu thought it was a joke at first but before long, Karemwo was fast asleep and snoring loudly to make it even worse. Kanyotu cried her heart out like a small child and could not sleep the entire night. She had booked full board for a fortnight. The second day came and Karemwo like the previous day could not rise up to the occasion. This happened; rather things did not happen, for all the time they were at this exclusive hotel. After going back to the village, it was evident for all to see that things were not right between the two after the honeymoon. There was miscommunication between them and at one time the elders had to intervene to establish what went amiss. “We paid the dowry in full and the book was handed over to us in good faith with all the covers intact. And I must add that the book is voluminous for you to finish writing on it in a day. What is happening?” The village elder asked the couple seated on the ground while the elders made a semi circle facing the troubled pair. “We don’t have the whole day to sit here idle,” the elder reminded them after some silence. “Sir, you rightly said you bought the book and indeed the book is available. The problem we are having is that the pen is incapable of writing in the book. It has not even scribbled on the first page! I’ve used all the tricks and gimmick the best way I know how but the pen, the pen…..” “Is it true that the pen has a problem?” The elder interrupted Kanyotu and demanded to know from Karemwo. The culprit nodded to the affirmative to the surprise of the elders. The elders then conversed between themselves in low tones to determine the next course of action since this caught them unawares and they had never handled such a case before. Ends