Rules to make you a real man

These are unspoken and unwritten rules (writing them is treasonous) that determines the proper dealing in what might otherwise be awkward situations. These codes must be followed in order for guys to be real men, it is also an effort to bring back the masculinity in Africa, and dudes are becoming softies! It’s a common sight around Kigali seeing guys walking while holding hands or arm-in-arm like it’s the natural thing to do, this actually breaks one of the rules. ‘Any physical contact apart from handshake is forbidden’. The golden rule among men world wide is ‘do not mess with my woman; I won’t mess with yours’. If one should add, no matter how single you are, or how available your friend’s sister is, she’s off limit forever, unless you plan to marry her or lose your friend. No telling! A man never tells his friend’s girlfriend if he finds out he’s cheating on her. When questioned by your friend’s girl, her sister or mother about your friend’s whereabouts, you should never provide any correct information. Gossip is strictly forbidden in guyland. Before dating a buddy’s ex you’re required to ask for permission, if not permitted, then it’s up to you to choose who to lose. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who is playing. Beer and sports always mix, in fact, beers and anything apart from driving always mix, and remember, whenever four or more guys meet, beers should be in their midst. Also remember that no man shall ever keep count or track of beers he or his buddy has had in a night. Scary movies are the best dating movie simply because you are not allowed to get misty or cry watching a romantic comedy. The only time a man is allowed to cry is at the funeral or the day Anna Kornikova chooses a husband. Under no circumstance should you allow your date to pay for anything on a date, this is not sexism, it is gallantry, it sucks, yes, but you have to deal with it, it is a guy code. If a buddy has some foreign object in his hair or face, under no circumstance are you permitted to remove it. However an appropriate hand gesture may be made to him so he can get aware of it. When picking players for sports team, it is permitted to skip your buddy in favour of a better player. No man shall spend more than two minutes in front of a mirror or own a dressing table. You can pee anywhere, including the side of the dustbin, but make sure you don’t get caught, that’s if you don’t have a 5k in your pocket Don’t bring your girl to a ballgame or bar if she is the only female in the group. You must knock at a friend’s crib and wait for the response, if no response, wait for another ten minutes then knock again. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you should bail your friend out whenever it’s possible.Under no circumstance should two men share an umbrella or a bed. A man’s zippers is not supposed to be down, if it is, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything! No man shall ever be required to buy another man a birthday present; in fact it’s no sin forgetting it.In a fight, if you’re buddy is out numbered, you must jump into the fight. Lastly pick two rules and violet them constantly as to obscure the complete understanding of these rules from females. If any man breaks one of the above mentioned laws, he will be guilty and will receive appropriate punishment, and will for 24 hours from the time of violation, be considered NOT A MAN. During this time he will not be referred to in any masculine way. Ends