LIVING LIFE : The Vuvuzela near You

It’s been an eventful week. Not with the World Cup or Woza starting in South Africa. The buzz is really about soccer but the other bizarre things that come along with it. First there is this fuss about the Vuvuzela that is wrecking people’s working days especially when such a place is close to an entertainment joint. When one is about to make that crucial business pitch in the boardroom, suddenly there is the sound of buzzing bees from the neighborhood especially soon after half past one and everybody soon forgets about the business and starts to ask. “Who is playing now?” Second, there is a man called Tshabalala who wears his hair like a woman, but kicks the ball like a man. He ran fast and met a pinpoint cross ahead of two Mexican defenders and behold on that Friday afternoon, he picked the ball and incised it above the hapless goalkeeper, sinking it into the distant end of a rectangular net. By the time he was done, the famous huge new African calabash next to Soweto erupted into a frenzy excitement in unison to thousands of groups of other Africans all over Africa, and before we knew it, the Tshabalala man was kicking balls into imaginary nets on all mud pitches everywhere. Mind you, the calabash is that huge stadium in Soweto called Soccer city, built to reflect the African culture and no wonder bees are buzzing in it. Forget about one Uruguayan Diego Forlan – in African culture, a guest who overstays his wonderful welcome and instead inflicts maximum damage of his host – two bloodsucking blows – phew! Good enough for a certain pariah country called North Korea which does not worry about hiring their fans. For the unacquainted the communist country operates like a big national jail where citizens are not allowed free movement in and out and the few who have risked their lives to escape never return. Apparently, the 100-member group of North Korean fans enthusiastically supporting their countrymen was, in fact, a group of paid actors from China putting on a lousy show. Sadly the Cameroonian truck was stopped by a cheap car from Japan, a Honda, of all cars. The Nigerian song was ended by a certain level headed Argentinean called Gabriel Heinz while the elephants from Cote d’Ivore depending on an elephant with a fractured arm for inspiration had to thank the crossbar for stopping a rocket from an angry Portuguese fellow, who is disappointed with himself, his season and his Woza. So our dreams of Africa in the final are still on the string, perhaps another Tshabalala rocket might raise the stakes a little. Otherwise today, watch out for the vuvuzela near you (the noisy chap). I wish you and Ivory Coast a victorious Sunday (against Brazil – am already trembling!). kelviod@yahoo.com