RELATIONSHIPS : A little white lie, love’s sweet savior

Certainly, you have been wondering why your love doctor disappeared into thin air. Thank God, this hilarious story couldn’t keep my hands off the computer anymore. Two love birds, seemingly in so much love filed for divorce, only two days after tying the knot{true story}.The newly wed husband gave free drama to his neighbours on Saturday {one day after the wedding},blaming his wife for deceit that she had been a virgin, yet it was a trap, to get him marry her. That was a big lie, I suppose, how about little white lies? Don’t you think we should hail them sweet saviour for our relationships? And after this UK survey that paints both men and women liars, but men being the best at it, should someone give up on love or learn living with the realistic lies? “Men are more likely to tell lies than women and feel less guilty about it. In a poll of 3,000 people, researchers found that the average British man tells three lies everyday, (1,092 a year). However, the average woman appears more honest, lying 728 times a year (twice a day),” according to the survey. Alright, not to lie is one of the Ten Commandments but what if your relationship is at the verge of breaking and the only saviour to look up to is that ‘little lie.’ A lot has been written on how lies can ruin love but no single person has come up to state the reality that lies can create a comfortable relationship at times. Of course cheating and denying is a ridiculous way to lie but some undeniable lies can make it work. Would you rather tell your girlfriend how chubby she is, even after her efforts to lose some pounds? On the contrary, a compliment that she looks great or even slimmer can make her day. “I feel comfortable whenever he compares my current looks to when we first met,” says Mary Uwimana, been married for 10 years. Of course many Marys out there want to hear their Mr. Charming compliment their looks but guess what, many lovers would rather hurt spouses’ feelings in the name of the truth. Even those with looks for horror movies can’t let a person walk away with saying they are ugly, now how about hearing it from the person you love most? As for our male folks, it’s a belief that without an arsenal of lies, you can’t hold a conversation with a gorgeous lady for even a second. “If you came up to a girl you love, and started with…..I am so broke, I don’t own a house or I took up a fake course because I am dull, definitely she wouldn’t take a second look at you,” says Paul Munanura, 28. And if a little harmless lie will get you a little intimacy, why criticize it. Those heart to heart talks at times call for a bit of lying. You’ll want him/her to figure out what you are trying to mean hence exaggerating statements, emotions or even actions. In the end some bit of deception is a necessary need for the flames of love to keep burning. Even to those who look straight into each other’s eyes and say, “We never lie to each other,” they are in fact lying to each other at that particular moment! To soul mates, even holding back something from a spouse is good enough a lie. No matter how you tell your heart. Of course there a series of little secrets you wouldn’t feel comfortable telling your spouse. And what good would it do, if a spouse knew all your weaknesses? Definitely they would use them against you.Before you pretend to be that God-sent saint to your lover, just learn that some simple lies are inevitable, without them, your love is bound to come down tumbling. lillianean@yahoo.com