Why I won’t fall in love with university students

I guess many of you have been asking what had gone wrong with yours faithfully after close to two months without feeding you on my miserable or sometimes blissful life experiences during my hey days. Any person of my age will have a difficult time trying to keep his health above the waters and that is what happened two months ago when the family doctor diagnosed both body and brain fatigue hence advising me to take a health sabbatical. Now that I have taken the required rest, I feel like a fifty year old man and ready to share with you my youthful mischief with the belles of that generation. In my foster country in1970 I was admitted to pursue a Bachelor’s Degree in Mass Communication which I found interesting and able to shape the career of any refugee. So young and adventurous, coupled with what we called ‘campus excitement’ that was arising from the so called ‘freedom’ I thought it was time for me to hook up with somebody’s daughter and who knows take her for keeps after school. Yes, like any true shooter, I would manage a little hanky-panky here and there before I decided never to waste my time with book obsessed, mad students. For three years at university, I dated just three girls but they would go “mad” during examination period yet this is the period that I needed care. I witnessed madness in panicky students, for example while in first year first semester exams Cathy, whom I had romanticized with since the beginning of the year, surprised the entire university community when she presented a chapati to the photocopying machine to be printed thinking she was photocopying handout notes. She was told it was a chapatti and not notes but she went ahead to hurl insults at the poor photocopier lady. I was called upon to cease fire between my Cathy and one bully in school who had eaten her chapati in an effort to prove to her that she was either ‘mad’ or joking. One glance at what had hitherto been my girl friend, I made up my mind to walk out even before intervening in the row. I immediately hooked up a German-Ugandan hybrid as I could not tolerate the idea of being without someone’s daughter to sing for me night songs in a sweet soprano. The hybrid was as romantic a crested crane and faithful as a catholic nun is to her vows. However, this was not to be for so long as she cemented my earlier belief that most if not all university girls at one point suffer from some kind of mental breakdown. This Von as she was called did the unthinkable. Frank and I had a vehicle and we planned to pick her from her hall of residence to school. As always, she was smartly dressed with sandal like shoes that were fashionable in the 70s. Again, it was during exams, when she entered she left her shoes outside the vehicle as if she did not want to stain the house carpet. Reaching school she made a loud alarm which shocked me realizing what was going on. When we drove her back we found the shoes where she had boarded the vehicle and instead of putting the shoes on, she instead picked only one. Reaching school, she made another alarm and I called it off with her. My last attempt to date a campus girl was in my final year when I met this tall Sudanese girl called Adeko. We got on well until that period that we always loathe (exam period). We were revising from under the tree shades one hot afternoon having an exam the same day when suddenly she undressed with reasoning that she was going to the bathrooms. Everyone bust into laughter while I got embarrassed and disappeared into thin air vowing never to date campus babes. This is not intended to belittle women and girls who go to university as I am just narrating my personal experience while I was still a student. I regard women in high esteem and respect. Ask my wonderful wife. angarambe2@gmail.com