Your body, the temple

In this day and age, the sexual revolution is a battle for personal liberty, and defying the norms for the sake of it. No one questions why those norms were there, but they feel the need to destroy anything that represents the old system. I spent the last week in Kampala and it was an interesting experience. I grew up there in the full height of the AIDS epidemic, Uganda was then a zombie nation and AIDS was the biggest threat to national security and existence. I remember seeing one of my teachers who I loved as an auntie slowly and gradually displaying all the symptoms. Getting gaunt and skinny, getting sores and respiratory problems, her hair starting to fall out and it was harrowing. All that has been forgotten today as the second sexual revolution is here, in this revolution there are no victims; you are all perpetrators. Whereas women were victims of the first sexual revolution as errant husbands infected innocent women, here women are the main driving force and have all the predatory instincts of a soldier on leave. I am a bit old-fashioned and such predatory women make me feel insecure, maybe I am not modern enough or naïve; a woman, sending over drinks to your table along with her effeminate male friend to “sell her” to me. I was assured it was a sure thing, indeed that I should have been honoured as Bobi Wine, Bebe Cool and Jose Chameleon had all had the pleasure of her company and highly recommended her. It was my Birthday and it ended up spoiling my night. It seemed so cheap and low, whatever happened to self-respect? It is ironic that when I was young all I had was girls who wanted love, but then I wanted just the physical pleasures. Then I quit and looked for love and all I get is girls offering sex. At times I feel I will die of loneliness, that I am doomed to be alone. When I look around I wonder if I accidentally passed the love of my life in the street and missed the chance. In the moments leading up to my birthday that would put me in my mid-thirties, I was contemplating where I went wrong in life, then I get an offer that confirmed I am a loser in love. In this modern age, most girls want to copy the brash aggressive sexuality of rich men. Money in life gives you options; they can pick which men they want for the night. My question is where the body fits in all this? Women have moved to valuing their intellect but have devalued their bodies in the process. Sex is not just a casual activity – it goes deep into who you are. When you have sex with someone it is to know their loves, their fears, their insecurities, their complexes, and if you pay attention you will know them deeply. The mechanics of sex always make it more of a sensitive experience for the women, she is the one who lets you inside her body, and therefore it is more of an invasion for her. You cannot respect yourself and disrespect your body, no matter what your intellectual qualities are. The worst thing it does is destroy your faith in humanity and the sanctity of love and commitment. This situation was bad enough when men were behaving like this but when all women behave like this it will be the end of humanity. I always have reassured myself that women know better than men but I am not so sure now. ramaisibo@hotmail.com