Stuck in a Traffic jam

Whether you’re late for a hot date, rushing to catch your flight or you badly need to use the restroom, with the rising numbers of people buying cars, especially in Kigali, rush hour traffic-jam in inescapable! Being that it is a new thing to some of us, we curse, every time we get jammed! Though, ways are being paved to combat it, it looks like it’s not going to go away anytime soon, the good news however is, you can turn those frustrating minutes or hours into something constructive and productive. Not productive like some people especially men do, you see, some men use it as an excuse for going home late, Women can be real smart; they will act like they are worried about you when investigating you, she won’t frankly ask ‘Honey where are you, You leave office at 5 pm sharp now its 7?, She will say, “Honey, where are you, are you ok, am worried about you?” But trust the male species, their auto- answer is on 24/7 (he’s probably at Mukunzi’s joint doing some throat- irrigation and checking to see if swine flu really got kicked out of the motherland ) “am all right honey”, he will respond, “only caught in a traffic-jam, we’re inching away at a snail’s pace but I will be home soon. Things to do when stuck in traffic jam First, gyrate your neck clock-wise five times, and then anti-clock-wise another five, if the person you’re seated with gives you the ‘Are-you-crazy-look’? Start knuckling your fingers one by one like someone who is going to throw some punches. If you’re a lady, you are into luck! Get out your make-up kit and start re-applying, eye shade, lip-liner, lipstick, powder and other stuffs you guys apply on your faces, ignore the ‘Haters look’. Check out all your cell phone ring tones on loud speaker (top volume please), if you’re done, start playing games, and please this is a ‘traffic jam rule’, maximum volume! If you’re phone starts to warn low battery, ignore it and keep playing. Guys you can save the lady in the car on your right from boredom by making sign languages, ask her phone number and other creative things. If you’re in your car, clear out your glove compartment, throw out the parking tickets and other tickets you no longer need, if you’re done and still stuck, clean your wallet and handbag. You can also unleash the ‘pent-up anger’, the kind you wish you can shower on your boss, lecturer, wife or dad, you can say whatever you want , speak all those nasty words your catechist teacher prohibited you from uttering! Unfold your copy of The New Times, read and do the puzzle, who knows, you might even find solutions of how to deal with traffic jams. Ask the taxi conductor to open the door for you, go to nearest supermarket buy ice-cream, you’ll come and find your taxi where you left it, and you can even go and withdraw cash from the nearest bank. Stretch your neck and read all bumper-stickers, they can be interesting! If you’re heading to Kimironko, Remera, or Chez Lando, the Gishyushyu jam up to Kisement is inescapable but don’t despair, just pop out and grab something to munch at Restauranto Italiano. Drivers; remember not to drive so close to the car in front of you. Passengers; don’t drink a lot of water, you don’t know how long you can hold it, having a running stomach? Do yourself a favor, stay home. Lastly put to use these tips. Enjoy your next traffic jam experience. Ends