DIASPOMAN : When the men in yellow busted some cargo

Do you remember several years ago when Government vehicles were impounded and taken to Amahoro Stadium for auction? Yes, that was a great move indeed – you know, the cost for each vehicle could have easily helped in setting up a health centre for a sizeable community. So with 400 jeeps, we were looking at about 200 good health centres country wide. Also, this could have helped peoples’ livelihood if the money was diverted to more important sectors such as electricity and water. In fact, this could have benefited a certain friend of mine who, at that time, was nabbed carrying some cargo in a Government registered vehicle! This particular friend of mine was trying to help me get a job here in Kigali. As you know, I had just come back from the Diaspora and I was frantically searching for imibereho! So I managed to infiltrate an office of this good old friend, who happened to be a big person in one of our Government ministries. I had bumped into him a couple of days ago, when Aggrey had taken me out for a cocktail party. At this cocktail party, I had two objectives. Objective number one was to do quick justice on those ice cold Amstels! The second objective was to find powerful people who could connect me to some juicy jobs. I had of course, failed to get myself a decent job due to my limping “papers”. Potential employers always ensured that I was on the shortlist for interviews. However, my papers always let me down. I mean, why would one want to employ a guy, who shows that he holds a diploma in “Corporate Affairs” and then displays a certificate majoring in “Nursing”? These are two different areas and I think that is why the members of the panel always eyed me in a manner to suggest that I was faking things up. Anyhow, my old friend cheerfully invited me to join him the following day for a heavy lunch, where we would explore my job problems. The next day, everything seemed to be moving in the right direction until this traffic policeman stopped our jeep. He claimed that he had orders to impound the vehicle no matter what. Despite our pleas, the traffic guy drove us straight to the police parking yard. In order to save face, my Government friend tried to play hard on the junior officers. He stormed out of the jeep and kicked some dust. His eyes were changing from one colour to another. He stammered and yelled out curses as he demanded to see the police boss himself. But trust the young officers. They stayed glued on the ground and were never budged at all. At this parking yard, I could see hundreds of other Government jeeps parked. They had all been impounded. What followed was funny indeed. It was at this point when I realized that my Government friend was getting involved in a dirty scuffle with the policemen. He appeared to be blocking the policemen from opening the vehicle for further inspection. What was he possibly hiding? Anyway, the policemen had no choice but to force the doors open. When the hind door was ripped off, two heavy sacks came tumbling out. The first sack was full of charcoal. The second sack was full of dry beans. Then there were about five jerry cans full of water! My friend, whose nice suit had already become soiled through the physical exchange, bowed his head in shame. He had been exposed. It was here that I kissed goodbye to my nice lunch plus job…. diaspoman@yahoo.com