Job intolerance

Occasionally, inane notions ramble through my mind, lingering long enough to render impossible all productive thought. For example, I was recently wondering, are there jobs/professions that you sure as hell don’t ever see yourself or any of your loved ones doing? I certainly know the answer is yes. Now I don’t know about which jobs qualify to be on your no-no list, but I imagine it should be easy for me to name a couple of those jobs that I for one, would never be caught dead doing. Make no mistake; I have nothing against the people that dare these jobs. In fact, as best I can tell, most of the people that do the few jobs that am about to talk about below seem to take the good of humanity to heart more than I do. The first job that I would not want to hold no matter how much it paid is being a test pilot. You could add onto that the position of test driver if you don’t know how to drive. One reason for my shunning this position is that I don’t know the first thing about flying an airplane. I’m not sure, but I suspect that’s a serious impediment to being a test pilot. Beyond my lack of flight training, I figure you have to be one hell of a brave human being to be a test pilot. I am not a brave human being. Well, at least, I’m not brave. It would be a bit of an exaggeration to say that I’m afraid of my own shadow though. Think about it. As I understand the job, test pilots’ bosses basically say to the pilots, “We’re reasonably convinced this plane will fly, but we’re not entirely certain. Would you mind taking it up to as high as you can go, flying it around, and seeing if it’s possible to continue doing that for a while without crashing? Thanks so much.” Uhmm, I don’t think so. Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad that there are people willing to do that job before others buy tickets for a flight on a new kind of aircraft. But it’s not about to be me doing it, and certainly never. The second job I wouldn’t want to do is being a politician. For better or worse, politics and politicians are essential to the continuance and vitality of the democracy that we hold so dear. Politics provides a platform for the flow of information and the exchange of ideas. Thus, it offers the basic tools needed to set governments on paths that reflect the will of the people. The nature of the political process, though messy at times, is essential if we are to make informed, rational decisions about the people who we elect to manage the affairs of our governments and to protect our rights and freedoms. The usual jokes aside, for the most part, elected officials work tirelessly and thanklessly to serve their country, region or city as the case may be. Even though they dedicate a large portion of their lives to serving the people, politicians are nonetheless subject to the people’s constant, ruthless ridicule. Furthermore, politicians are expected to lay themselves bare to the media’s merciless scrutiny. Nothing is considered beyond the media’s domain, not even details of politicians’ personal lives, details that have little or no bearing on their ability to serve, details that most of us would be unwilling to divulge to even our closest friends and relatives. What’s more, politicians do all of this and put up with all of that for a salary that’s often lower than what they could earn in the private sector—sometimes very much lower. Do you get the reason why I can’t be a politician? Now the last job (I am not sure I should call this a job) I can take up is being a suicide bomber. Ask yourself the following question: Why do suicide bombers blow themselves and others up? We’re told that it is to gain the reward of 72, let me repeat that, 72 virgins in heaven. Before you ask, I have no I idea why they want virgins. I don’t imagine sexually transmitted diseases are much of a problem in heaven, so why not go for women with experience; women who, as I presume, know some really terrific stuff? That said, if you have an offer for me in a very big office as a politician, an office preferably having something to do with finance, feel free to lure me into breaking my own rules. easywilber@yahoo.com