I am a divorced mother of four children. My three eldest children are all working and my youngest son is at university. I met a man recently on one of my business trips outside the country. Though younger than me by five years, he has proposed marriage and has suggested that once we get married we will live abroad. Even though he is very loving towards me, he is not very receptive when it comes to my children. What do I do? I love him and want to marry him, but he is not interested in my children. Eunice. Dear Eunice,There is a saying that goes thus, “If you choose to take a sheep, be prepared to go with its tail. If this man claims to love you then he should be able to love your children as well, why would you get married to someone who does not love your children? This means that once the two of you get married, then it will be the end of you and your children. He will make sure that you do not communicate with your children and hence you will be hated by your own children. They will feel abandoned and rejected by their own mother and you will have nothing to show for all the years you have brought them up single handedly. Honestly this relationship is not worth it, if you stand to loose your children’s love for the sake of a stranger. Remember this man is a stranger; he came into your life when you had already gotten your children, and if he thinks he cannot accommodate your children, then let him take a walk and never to look back. Hey, nothing is more important to you now than your children, they are your tomorrow and your legacy. Look at what their father did to you by walking out of your lives. I believe your children are what kept you going. So how can you just throw your hard work out the window for the sake of a stranger? You have to make your own rules. If he agrees to your terms then keep him, if not don’t waste even a second more with him. If your own husband and the father of your children walked out of the marriage and left you with his children, then what makes you think this man will not walk out of your life one day, having destroyed your life and that of your children? Think very hard and think twice. Do not make a hasty decision that will make you live to regret for the rest of your life. Come to think of it, what you are feeling for him might not even be love, but infatuation. Having stayed long without a man’s touch, one gets confused by the first man she meets. Weigh carefully what you are feeling for him and make a proper decision. Ends
