Soon, and very soon, don’t be surprised to receive a text message saying “Please, kindly join me, the one and only Bird Hunter, for a high profile meeting to prepare my high profile wedding. Your presence and support during this meeting will be a big contribution to nation building.” This text will not be selective like it is normally the case with other wedding meeting messages. Mine will go to everybody in the country who happens to own a mobile handset (how I wish even landlines receive text messages), whatever the network connection. “So, is bird hunter finally saying bye to nomadic life and choosing sedentary life?” I can hear you asking yourself after receiving my text on your Karasharamye. The answer is NOPE! And that is where the ‘killing of two birds’ comes in. Remember me telling you that I am taking French lessons? Well, I forgot to tell you that I did not choose the French school on merit of the quality of its studies but because of the French tutor. As I was looking around for a good French school around this fair city, I came across this one where they insisted that I take a proficiency test first before they admitted me. I obliged and when the tutor came to interview me so she could establish my level of understanding of French, I made my decision there and then that no other school could teach me better French but this one – not even Alliance Francaise could try to compete! I found myself sailing through the interview, and impressed my tutor. But just to make sure, I asked whether I had the right to choose my teacher and the time to attend the lessons. My wish was granted because this being a business, the client is King. That is how I started to take French lessons.I told the principal of the school (or the CEO for that matter) that due to the nature of my job (which I did not specify, because Rwandans are better left guessing) I wanted to take my classes after everybody had finished. This was another way of saying that I wanted a special session after normal classes. I was told that I had to pay extra fees and I said money was not at all the problem. Ditto! The principal said, but he said he had to ask the assigned tutor if she was fine with the arrangement. He called the next day to tell me that my tutor had no problem because she was still single and therefore no pressing responsibilities. Single? I wanted to ask him if she was also searching but I reigned in my curiosity. The lessons started as I told you and one thing led to another and French lessons turned into serious and tight issues. Now every day starts with a strong longing for the evening to come so I can go for my ‘French lessons.’ I have started getting worried that by the time the French bird returns I will still not be able to communicate effectively with her without using sign language because so far, I am afraid I have not made much progress beyond ‘je t’aime beaucoup ma Cherie” and ‘je t’adore.” But that is not the point at all. Thing is, this bird is quite serious about life. In me, she happens to be convinced that I can make a good domesticated hunter, as she wants this to happen as soon as possible. I am really touched and that is why I have decided to try and not disappoint this bird. That is why I will soon be asking you to help me prepare for ‘my wedding’ with my French Tutor. Of course it is not my intention to finally settle down and become a hunted hunter, never! This is my strategy. I am going to start holding wedding meetings for two consecutive months as she also does on her side. Along the way, convinced that I am serious, the bird will be all mine. At the end of the two months, I am sure I will have collected enough to fly to France. I hope you know what I mean. Ends
