PARENTING : The vital role of fatherhood

IF men want to be successful in their families and marriages, I believe they need to broaden their understanding of their role as fathers. To begin with, it has never been about simply providing, financially, for the family. A good man should provide everything from financial, physical and emotional support to his family. I always thought that a father, was a good provider if he paid all the bills, provided a roof for his family, and ensured that food was on the table. I was mistaken. Being a good provider means providing as well as contributing to the wellbeing of the family. There is a myth that has been circulating for centuries that, ‘the woman is the cook and the maid, the day care service.’ But who wrote that? In my point of view, what matters is getting the job done, not who does what. One of my close family friends recently confided in me and said she felt so lucky that her husband helped out around the house. Not very many men can do this. However, being part of a family means working, laughing, crying and sticking together. Being a protector doesn’t mean beating up the guy who insults your wife, no. It simply means protecting her self-worth and her life, as well as that of your children. Teaching is a lifelong visual calling rather than a verbal one. Do you teach your boys how to talk, act and treat a lady? Remember, how you treat your spouse is probably how your children will treat theirs. It is better to teach them about love and honesty at a tender age. Take the initiative to be an exemplary leader in your family. Don’t ever forget that actions speak louder than words. Ever wondered why some families relate more closely than others? The answer lies in the father’s ability to create lasting bonds. Poor fatherhood greatly affects the whole family. When fathers are unapproachable, stressed and disappointed, they lead a fateful future. Once in a social studies class, my teacher emphasized that dads are the leaders of the family. This is a story about Sam, a cousin of mine who lives a remorseful life today. He says he curses the day his mother conceived him. “I have witnessed the worst in my life. My dad always throws insults at me whenever he sees me. He accuses me of doing things I don’t even know and he never allows me to defend my innocence. To add salt to injury, my father disowned me. “My parents took me for a DNA test, which clearly proved him wrong. The only shoulder I have left to cry on is that of my mum, who also has little to offer. I wish my mum could show me my true father.” This clearly indicates how poor fatherhood greatly affects the young generation. Imagine the type of kids Sam will raise, if he doesn’t emotionally heal or change his attitude towards his dad. Boys who think all fathers are beasts at home will grow up and behave similarly towards their own children. Imagine a world with such fathers. shebs10@yahoo.com