FICTION : Raw eggs cracker

“Yori yori, aah, Ma love love, with you everything is well well, Your love dey make my heart do yori yori, Nobody can love you the way I do Am with you ma love love” Ngecu sang as he staggered towards his home late at night from a drinking spree. In spite of it being very late at night, he sang different songs loudly without the fear of being clobbered by thugs. “I am Ngecu the son of Mugecu. But do I say? Who cares anyway?” he would interject himself with these words, laugh loudly and then pick up another song or continue with the one he was singing. Ngecu is used to drinking at the local pubs. He never misses a day without reporting at his favourite bar. He works with a construction company as an overseer. Though he is always intoxicated, he is hardworking and earns good money most of which ends up on beer if not with the bar tenders. He is brainy and has managed to build his own house. In his craftiness, he managed to build it by overestimating on building materials he orders for his construction work. He would then carry the excess materials to build his own house. House rent does not bother Ngecu like most of his pals. The only responsibility he has is that of paying school fees for his only daughter who is in high school. His wife operates a kiosk adjacent to their house which specializes on vegetables. Women folks in the neighbourhood spend most of their time at this kiosk gossiping and analyzing the intrigues of the male species. Ngecu’s wife is used to his coming home late at night. She can tell when her husband is coming several yards away from home by his loud songs. If the concoctions overcome him, patrons from the bar carry him to his house and he would for sure pay for the services rendered the following day. More often than not, he attempts to go home drunk only to end up in a ditch. His wife knows his routes and on such occurrence, she rises up early in the morning to go and fetch for him before daybreak to avoid shame. “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” Ngecu loves beer. He adores the stuff so badly that quitting from it is unimaginable to him. For the last couple of months, his health has deteriorated. He has been admitted to the hospital thrice. The doctor has clearly indicated to him that he should quit drinking for him to be of sound health. His wife was the only one who received the news with delight. “Ngecu, you have peptic ulcers and you’ve got to adhere to what I am telling you for you to improve your health. Refrain from the foods I have just told you and most importantly from alcohol,” the doctor told Ngecu who was not amused by whatever the doctor was saying. “I’ve been drinking since time immemorial, why should it be poison to me now yet it has not been all along?” Ngecu quipped to the doctor. “You didn’t have the bacteria which causes ulcers all along until now. That is the reason. The bacteria is called Helicobacter pyloricus (H. pylori) and the medication am giving you are antibiotics which are meant to eliminate it but without your support, the bacteria will remain,” the doctor explained to Ngecu. This was the fourth time Ngecu was visiting the doctor for the same problem in a period of six months. He received some injections and took some tablets. On his way home, he tried to work out on a formula on how he was going to quit drinking. “Ok, I quit drinking, what will I be doing in my free time? All of my friends drink beer, how am I going to relate with them?” Ngecu thought to himself. All the formulas he was conjuring were not workable, so he thought. A friend of his heard of his condition and called him immediately. “Hello Ngecu, I have heard that you are suffering from ulcers, is it true?” Mucene asked Ngecu. “Yes I am and it is bothering me quite a lot,” Ngecu answered. “Would you believe if I told you that I suffered from the same condition for many years?” Said Mucene. “What! Did you say for several years? Then what happened because my doctor told me to quit drinking yet I see you drink?” asked Ngecu. “I will not forget my grandmother who gave me the remedy. It worked! And it has been working ever since!” Mucene said. “Ooh my goodness! Please, break the good news to me. I just can’t wait,” Ngecu’s excitement was unmistakable. “It is so simple you won’t believe it. Swallow two raw eggs every morning for a period of one month and ulcers will be history to you,” Mucene told a very attentive Ngecu. It came as a challenge to Ngecu. He couldn’t imagine himself swallowing a raw egg. The thought of the mucous-like substance passing through his throat was disturbing. “I have to choose between the two. Either swallowing the stuff or quit drinking,” Ngecu thought to himself. He settled on swallowing the stuff. It was easier than quitting. “Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” said Ralph Waldo Emerson. Ngecu struggled for a whole week trying to swallow raw eggs. He succeeded the week that followed and can’t wait for the month to end to go back to his prison of choice. “Habit is a cable; we weave a thread each day, and at last we cannot break it.” ~Horace Mann. skangongoi@yahoo.com