Is valentines for the married too ?

Valentines is popularly known as a celebration day, for people in love. This ideally shows no limit on the level of compatibility or the expected length in affairs. However much as what counts for couples is their love for each other, there has been arguments that this day is not for the married. Some call it a catalyst to reach the epitome of a love affair, which is marriage. Others have reasoned that, after two people have been married it is like they have achieved their goal so there is no need for wasting resources on celebrating Valentines Day. Cathy, a 22 year old student says Valentine’s is the day to nurture the chemistry between lovers. “This day works in favor of those searching for someone to marry. When you get married you have a new Valentine’s Day, it is called “The Anniversary,” She said. Married people especially women who insisted on celebrating Valentine’s Day have been accused of double-dipping because they get the gifts of both Valentines Day and their anniversary. Some people have viewed Valentines Day as not appropriate for “mortgage paying couples” who have to endure a whirlwind of worries and budget-cuts to balance the ever increasing family responsibilities. Raymond, a deejay by profession says he finds Valentines much of a day for couples who are just developing their relationship, not those who have already reached the destination. “It is best packaged for young lovers, to spontaneously appreciate the two of them in moments that create memories which go on to construct longevity and compatibility between them” Before marriage, a guy can cross Alaska to Siberia just to impress and show enduring love for the spouse but after months in marriage some people start changing, it starts by taking him or her for granted, giving being replaced by demanding. Under such circumstances in addition to other family demands, married people get so overwhelmed and forget ‘fertilizing’ the very bond of love that brought them together, which can be done through celebrating the day of the lovers. In many African societies, married people don’t celebrate Valentines because the culture has shaped people to be introverts, people who conceal their emotions most of the time, but this doesn’t mean they don’t love or refresh their love. The shyness and concealing elements in African couples has been intensified by the perception that they don’t want to set a bad example for their children who they strictly forbid from any form of coupling until they are of age. However, it should be noted that when it comes to loving ,African women come first. Most of them virtually do everything for their men everyday of the year, they do it out of their hearts and also as an obligation taught to them by their aunties. The weird thing is that most men take women for granted, and end up being patronizing and chauvinistic in their marriage lives, killing the rhythm of marriage romance. The bond of love is divine, so it should be given its deserved value by setting a side a day to be punctuated by moments that renews the love between such that it can be ‘forever young’ This purely romantic and spontaneous day for lovers has been highly commercialized to the point that materials like expensive gifts and sizzling holidays have been the determinant of whether a person has expressed love to the spouse. Leave Valentine’s as the ultimate marriage trap. And ladies if you really love him then get married on the same day. It shows you love him, and not just for his money or memoryValentine’s Day can be a source of irritation in a marriage, or a way to rejoice and celebrate your union. Although romance should happen year-round and not just around your wedding date or anniversaries, enjoying this holiday with one another is a good thing for your relationship and can still rekindle the dying fire if them marriage is on the rocks. gahimore@yahoo.com