Talking to your teen about sex

There is a growing need in today’s generation to impart sex education to our teenagers. Talking to your teen openly and honestly about sex , and being able to cover everything from sex to STDs, is one of the ways of ensuring your child’s health and well being. During the adolescence period, the hormones work overtime and there are also physical changes that are taking place in the body structure, particularly in sex organs, making the teenager curious to explore these changes. Faced with this, there is often a rush to indulge in what is forbidden, combined with the absence of adequate wisdom to control these impulses. The sexual arena is in constant focus among the teens, and in the absence of proper guidance, this can result in more harm than good. I believe it is never too early to talk to your teen about their body and their sexuality. However, these talks need to change as your child gets older and moves towards becoming a teen. Sex education is the responsibility of every liable individual, more especially parents, guardians and teachers. It is better for the teens to get the right information from responsible adults rather than getting misleading information from friends, magazines or websites. Enlightening a teenager is the best preventive policy to tackle the growing health problems in this age group. They need to understand very early that it is better to be safe than saying sorry. Sex education for teens includes abstinence, date rape, homosexuality, lesbianism and other tough topics. Teachers offer such health classes in school. However, sex education needs to happen at home too. Awkward as it may be, parents should be the first to talk to their teens about sex, unfortunately, parents most times fail to supplement what was taught at school. To help today’s youth, we need to give the devil his true name; a spade has never been a big spoon. Your teen needs accurate information about sex as well as the positive and negative consequences of having sex. Educating teens about the pitfalls of becoming sexually active is a good move. “I came to realize that my past years of painful and broken relationships were as a result of my sexual sin. Out of curiosity, I experimented sex but the results were terrible,” Jane, an old school friend laments. Today, one needs to educate the young children as early as possible compared to the children of the 1950s. Make sure your teen knows the basics. If you haven’t already explained to your teen where babies come from, now is the right time. I remember once asking my mum where babies come from, and she plainly told me that she buys them from hospital. She never corrected me. When I insisted, she explained that babies grow up in the stomach and pass through the navel to get out. I only had to discover out of curiosity. Tell them body changes are just normal when they start to change. It would be good for you to share with them the experience you had when you were their age. Admit that sexuality is positive. (Perhaps the hardest thing to admit to a child on the brink of lust and love). If you cast sex as negative as in “Don’t do it!” Then your child will simply tune you out. Just tell them plain truth that it is sex and that it has negative impacts on their lives if hurried and not done at the right time. When you feel like you should talk, it is not always so easy. But if you miss the perfect moment, you might miss the best time. Tell your teen that your door is always wide open, and most importantly, encourage your teen to talk to you often about any questions they may have about sex. The most important of all is to leave the communication lines open, so you can talk whenever need arises. Shebs10@yahoo.com