RELATIONSHIPS : When his friend means more to him

He tells you he loves you so but he would not have a second thought when his friend called him out in the middle of the night. He would get dressed immediately to go and attend to his friend’s needs. He will let his friend know about what he plans to do and where he wishes to go but when you ask him about his plans he tells you it is completely personal; yet he does not stop to mention how important his friend is to him because she has always been there for him during the times when he most needed help. That is when you clearly want to evaluate what the two of you have in common and wonder if the guy has the slightest of love for you any way. You ask your self if you are only worrying too much or being too jealousy over nothing but the feeling of insecurity does not go away. You wish this could change because you don’t think you have a problem with his friend whatsoever, but he does not stop at that he updates her about the problems you encounter in your relation ship. You wonder the kind of advice she would give if not only to make matters worse, every day things seem to only slip away from your reach but you keep consoling your self- things will get better because you can’t afford loosing him to his friend. Because you do not think you can give up that easily, you keep trying but you do not seem to head any where no matter how much you try. The other festive season he bought her a gift for Christmas claiming he owes her a great deal. He says he needs to make it up to her ‘over what kind of reasons’, you can not tell; but the gifts keep coming in. When you ask for some thing from him he simply says he does not have a single coin on him but he can afford buying his friend an expensive perfume, he does not even get ashamed to ask you to lend him some money because he has a financial crisis. For love you are very ready to help out but you are beating your self up because you think you are actually spending your precious savings on him while he spends all his money on some other people and this hurt so much but you say you have nothing to do. Girl friend you might not realize things are getting out of hand but if you think you need your life together find ways of talking about your feelings to him, much as you might not alter any thing about their friend ship. Remember communication is the best way to resolve matters in a relationship. Do not easily conclude, they could be ‘just friends’ as far as the matter is concerned. Laura2jos@yahoo.com