The misconception around ‘favouring him’

This is an appeal to all the ladies out there. If somewhere in your New Year resolutions you have ‘doing a guy favour’, better think twice. Whatever you do in good faith might turn out to be a source of misery that will ruin your entire life. Perhaps you consider yourself a ‘Good Samaritan’, and wonder why “Miss Writer” is against it. Well, the reasons for not favouring him are crystal clear and well laid for you to see. Men often misinterpreted favours from the opposite sex. Last week, I was treated to laughter when a close friend got insulted by the very guy she helped to raise from the rugs to riches. She had gone to spend her weekend in Gisenyi when she met him, his story was touching. To cut the long story short, the guy in question is an orphan, who had lived a miserable life in a camp. Innocently, she pitied his situation, gave him transport fare to Kigali so she could help out. “Miss Kind” rented for the stranger a house, catered for his meals and hooked him a job. After settling, “Mr. lucky” treated himself to arrogance. He called his saviour [the girl] a secret admirer. Dressed to kill, he paid an unceremonious visit to the girl’s mother with overwhelming arrogance, “What your daughter has done for me clearly shows that she is interested in me,” he said. “Anyway, I don’t want to hurt her feelings by marrying someone else. So please, can I marriage her?”Being worlds apart never stopped him from suspecting the unthinkable. I mean, she is an administrator while he is a mere guard. Not approximately, but the like happens to many kind hearted ladies. Women are famous for being empathetic, but how are they {ladies} supposed to express their sympathy if it’s often misinterpreted? Most women regard the biggest prejudice committed against their pride is misinterpreting a genuine favour for love moves. Can’t stop wondering whether the highest percentage of men are perverts. Taking him out, offering a gift, bailing him out of a debt or even a mere text often communicates one thing ‘she is interested in me.’ How it irritates Genuine girls have turned into cold hearted people after a male friend misinterpreted their good deeds. Meanwhile, some guys are brave enough to make it {girl’s interest in them} a table talk on a boys’ night out. “Everyone called me Paul’s girlfriend, little did I know that he used to tell all his boys that I was chasing after him,” says Annet Mbabazi, a 25 year old. Obviously, on learning the kind of guy Paul was, Mbabazi felt betrayed. Often, misinterpretation hurts friendship. It’s not the guys to blame With matters concerning the heart, girls are always shy. Only few will break the silence on how they feel for someone. This makes guys more than determined to read signs which include favours. “No reasonable guy can let a gorgeous slip out of his grip just because he acted so polite and never asked why she was being too nice,” says John Gakumba, 27. “Besides, girls differ; some will favour guys genuinely while others will be communicating something intimate.” With guys who respect friendship, they get to understand their ‘female friends’ agenda when they commit to other girls. “I broke up with my best friend recently when I got a girl friend. She got dead jealous and blamed me for not valuing our friendship since my fiancée came into picture,” says Bosco Uwanyuze, 31. Uwanyuze kept wondering why she was not happy for him yet they were supposed to be friends. He learnt later that she had intimate feelings for him. The way to go Attraction is natural; girls will always like boys and vice versa. The only way to handle it is talking it out {the two of you}. Asking politely if she has feelings for you won’t hurt. And if her genuine acts get you interested in her, confess. Ladies, being clear about your intentions is the best way to go. We are the 21st century and expressing your feelings is not a bad thing at all. Ends

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The misconception around ‘favouring him’