Santa’s ArmyA man was coming out of church on Christmas day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always did, to shake hands. He grabbed the man by the hand and pulled him aside. Pastor said, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!” My friend said, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.” Pastor questioned, “How come I don’t see you except at Christmas and Easter?” He whispered back, “I’m in the Secret Service.” Children’s X-Mas CarolsA teacher in Atlanta asked her students to write the words to their favorite Christmas Carols. She probably got fired for mentioning Christmas in school. Anyway here are some of the humorous lines she received: Deck the Halls with Buddy HollyWe three kings of porridge and tarOn the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to me Later on we’ll perspire, as we dream by the fire. He’s making a list, chicken and rice.Noel. Noel, Barney’s the king of Israel.With the jelly toast proclaimOlive, the other reindeer. (All of the other reindeer) Frosty the Snowman is a ferret elf, I saySleep in heavenly peas n the meadow we can build a snowman, and then pretend that he is sparse and brown You’ll go down in listerineOh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay O come, Froggy faithful Ends