I hate people who…

…stigmatise people with HIV/AIDS. If it was not for my religious beliefs that promote forgiveness and reconciliation, I was going to spend World Aids Day moving around Kigali and the suburbs with a big stick to beat up anyone who stigmatises HIV/AIDS patients. I was going to wear a jacket with the words, “I have HIV” and then hide an iron bar (like the one that killed a Ugandan General). Anyone seen laughing at me would then instantly get a beating of a lifetime that would end that life too! That was just a thought. Otherwise we need to support and not stigmatise these people. …practice telecom polygamy. I am talking about those unserious people who foolishly carry any simcard that comes on the market thinking it’s cool. No it’s not. I am tired of asking you for a phone number and you blubber, “…umm my MTN line is 078, now this is Rwandatel, 075. You can also have my Tigo line, 072 and Safaricom when I am out of Rwanda...” Hey I asked for one not the whole list as per RURA records. If you cannot stick to one phone network, how then will you be able to choose among the beautiful Rwandan girls or men? If you have more than one line, The ‘angry’ Hater has just erased all of them. …still addicted to Nigerian movies. I really have nothing against my Nigerian Braddas but Nollywood movies really suck. And I am therefore not happy with anyone who is addicted to these substandard movies. Yes, I know it’s Africa’s best shot at imitating Hollywood. But do you really have to sit and watch boring clips of witchcraft practitioners every night? Aren’t there better things you can do with your time? Now the guys have even messed up your English accent and expressions. Instead of saying My God, you are now saying Ikineke-oo! Anyway, all I am saying-oo is that I hate you so much-ooo! …bring their entire clan to parties. Have you noticed that some invitation cards to parties restrict the number of people invited? Well, some of our friends do not seem to have enough brains between their ears. Someone gets a card inviting Mr and Mrs only, but stubbornly interprets it as Mr and Mrs, plus family, friends and in-laws. The joker then shows up with practically his whole clan and even has the carelessness to keep calling his friends, “Eh, we are here at Novotel for John’s wedding. Where are you? Come and join us.” Well, The Hater thinks you should go to the taxi park or kwa Rubangura’s to join your friends. Or better still; take you kids and buddies for Umuganda or Gacaca. …have a habit of denying their children. Guys, it’s almost 2010 and Africa is getting ready to host the World Cup. It’s not sensible in this age for you to sleep with a girl and make her pregnant and then run away. Some of you even think that changing your phone number and address will change the DNA of the new born baby. Own up and stop spoiling our name (including mine). If you did not really want to be a father, you should have gone for castration. I could have helped you with this. I have a very sharp knife in my kitchen! Or you should have tried homosexuality since it guarantees no kids too. But then I will hate you still. For my job is to hate. Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com