Bird Hunter once again the only tree where birds want to land

I may be a poor speaker of my language, Kinyarwanda, but I love this language. I love it because the old men, our forefathers who created it must have been geniuses. I would like to use one very wise saying that befits my current situation which brings forth a message using the example of the behaviour of water. I know of a good friend of mine Tonto K who of recent has been insisting that he should be referred to as Tonto Blackberry, who is always excited whenever a subject related to H2o comes up, but I am sorry to disappoint him today because I will use this subject only to refer to my current situation. The old men asserted that “water may attain great temperatures of heat but it will eventually go back to its original state- coldness.” This saying should provide, in my opinion, a very big lesson to all mankind. How true this is, but people decide to ignore these facts. I want to actually make sure that all birds are aware of this saying and get to know what it means so that it can be their guiding philosophy. I am sure that only then will they cease to always go with the wind. Actually I suggest that this saying be incorporated in the national curriculum and it should be taught to birds and birds only. If this is done, I will be proud to have made a contribution to national building. I am saying all this, ladies and gentlemen from an experience view-point because of what happened to me recently, as most of you must have read in this third rate column. I told you about how bird hunting had hit the lowest low for a couple of weeks recently owing to no significant reason other than the fact that a guy went to Nairobi and used his vocal prowess to beat a couple of fellow contestants and was awarded lots of cash in Kenyan currency. I could not help wondering what would have happened if the cash prize had been in US Dollars. All birds were thrown into frenzy ever since it dawned on them that the guy actually had a chance of winning the competition. All systems went during the voting process and birds turned themselves into voting agents. Whenever you tried to get jiggy with any of them, they would almost force you to send an SMS in support of that guy. As if that wasn’t painful enough, they would ask you to provide money so they can buy airtime to do the same. And this would happen to you every time you went out to hunt. This turned bird hunting into an impoverishing experience for some time. When finally the guy was declared winner I thought that my misery was finally over. But how I was mistaken! The misery had actually begun. When it was announced that the triumphant guy would be arriving at the airport a day later, the entire town went ‘bird less.’ When I inquired where the birds had disappeared to I was told that while some had gone to different saloons to enhance their looks in preparation to give Alpha a huge welcome back, others had actually travelled to Kenya to meet him there. I hahad! Some of these birds have real guts. In the meantime, I started wondering how all the birds would be able to share one guy. I decided to sit back and enjoy the fray that was about to unfold. This, in a way, actually made me look like a fan of this guy. That is because I went to the airport at the scheduled arrival time to witness the grand reception. I had never in my bird hunting life seen so many birds in one place. All of them had jammed the airport waiting; all dressed in the best way they thought could grab the guy’s attention. To be able to choose a single bird out of those assembled at the airport, the poor guy should have had to employ the services of a computer system because if he had used a none computer voting system, the process would have surely slipped into anarchy because none of the birds would have accepted the results. But things still continued to be unfavourable after that because birds continued to hope that they still had chances of arousing the interest of the new ‘millionaire’ in town. But their hopes slowly dwindled as reality slowly crept in. Finally I am back in business and I have assumed my rightful place in this city as the only tree where birds would like to land. Ends