Love: Is by choice, not an emotion

She was filled with excitement, and butterflies ran through her stomach, as she kept on flashing a satisfactory smile. Indeed, she believed she was the happiest woman on earth. Dressed in a gorgeous white gown, that seems a dream for every woman. She brandished her golden ring in the air for all to see. “Finally, I can’t believe I’m married to the love of my life. It’s a dream come true,” said Sheila Mubezi. At this point, Mubezi couldn’t hold the tears back. After all, who was she to deserve all this happiness? Saying the vows was what she considered the peak of her three year relationship. And with all the tranquility in the cathedral, she said ‘Yes I do’. Three years after the vows and blessed with a baby girl, Mubezi called it quits. It’s ironical that what meant to be everlasting love ended in just a blink of an eye. The magic that had existed between the couple had suddenly turned to envy and irritation. Witnesses to the wedding were treated to confusion by the breakup. Pre-maturely ended love has kept a paradox to all. We are often left guessing whether love is by choice or just an emotion that comes and goes at any time. Is love an emotion? Can emotional love with stand all the trials? Do emotions help people to fall and stay in love? And is love by choice? Such are the common questions when a breakup hits the most adorable couple. And yes, love both emotional and by choice. For any love feelings to develop, of course it’s the chemistry that comes first, those are emotions. “You will feel a natural attachment to your intended lover even before you know them pretty well, that’s what they call emotions,” say Rose Mukabarisa who married for 5 years but broke up recently. This natural attachment to someone or love at first site is a sign that you have fallen head over hills for someone but it doesn’t guarantee that it will last. This is when choice comes in. You either choose that love lasts forever or you blow it up. Those who have successful relationship always count on choice because feelings {emotions} are not always the same always. “Its human to feel the butterflies in your stomach when you look at an adorable person but you can never feel them for 10 years,” says Augustine Zigiranyirazo, who has been married to his wife for 15 years. Zigiranyirazo says that each day that passes, his feelings for his wife are not the same. “I’m still hanging on because it’s a choice I made.” According to him, love by choice is accompanied by honouring the choice you made while emotional love can occur even with a person you don’t care about’ provided the attraction exists. “This explains why many mature men opt for younger girls to quench their emotional part while they stay with their elderly wives because it’s a choice and decision,” says Zigiranyirazo. Emotional love has ruined beautiful marriages and relationships. Many propose basing on their emotions, they never look beyond. Meanwhile, facts like the spouse to be’s character are important but neglected until breakup time. And to a person who chooses to love, nothing will ever set them apart. They will stick together come rain come sunshine. Yes emotions help us to fall in love but after falling, the next step is thinking and whether those are the people we want to spend eternity with. To people who have chosen to love, hardships make them stronger, they smile at every storm that comes their way and will obviously stay together forever and for always. Ends

Leisure

Love: Is by choice, not an emotion