Why lie in the first place…?

Without wanting to alter the usual context of the term lie, it’s, obvious that however small or big a lie might be, it ruins our reputation when discovered. The bitter consequences of lies are crystal clear, even to an infant; nevertheless telling lies occurs. Then why do people lie? We live in a society where the majority battle to stand out in a crowd in a bid to protect their ego. Some will tell that lie to take advantage of a situation, while others lie to overcome the consequences the truth might lead to. Talk about love or pretence of being in love, here even the most honest person lies ‘alittle.’ Though lying makes us forget who we truly are, people will employ any deception provided they believe that it will make things work out. Incidentally, lying does not mean saying untruths, but also acting one way when you feel the other. According to Annette Munganyinka, a student at Kigali Health Institute (KHI), when we minimize, dismiss, deny, or pretend about something, we are telling a lie. “Lying is incredibly common among couples during the courtship period as each partner tries hard to pull the ‘saint’ stunt,” says Jolie Gasaro, a housewife and mother of two. In courtship, couples can’t wait to live eternally with each other, only to realize later that the person they ‘dated’ is far different from the one they ‘wedded.’ Pretence and lying is another way of playing one’s cards well all the way to the cathedral or mosque. And to some, lying is a habit. Speak of chronicle habits like smoking or alcoholism, lying has a place within. That explains why many lie even when it’s not necessary. “To some it’s natural to lie. Following the many lies, big-time liars often forget that they lied,” says Pascal Kamanzi, a shop attendant in Kimironko. An addicted liar gets illusions along the way; they suddenly think that what they imagine and lie about all the time is real! Suddenly, lies appear to be the concrete truth to them! “This is why people have imaginary money in banks, houses that they only talk about and they are never ashamed to reveal that anyway,” says Kamanzi. Sometimes, many are forced to lie, in order to cover up for something that is shameful before their lovers. The discreditable things that are often lied about are infidelity, drug abuse, the past, the list is endless. Fear of criticism also fuels lies. It’s natural that humans are hell scared of being criticized. “I would rather fake triumph that will get me praised than expose my weakness which will be critisised,”says Kamanzi. Yes. We all lie, all the time. It causes problems. So why do we insist on the habit and yet we know that it paints us as lairs? According to psychologist Robert Feldman, a lie ties us with self-esteem. As soon as people feel that their self-esteem is threatened, they immediately begin to lie even more.People will as well lie to keep up appearances. For instance people lie to appear better people before their lovers. “It’s natural to love appearing good before others. It protects our self worth,” says Jessica Batamuriza, a business woman in Kigali city. lindaonly2005@yahoo.com