Competing with your spouse’s friend—Not ideal

Two is company and three is a crowd. Whoever invented this should have gotten it from a true life experience. Speaking of insulting matters in love, friends come at the number one position. There is always this inseparable friend that your spouse talks and hangs around with even in your presence. Fair still if the friend in question was of the same sex, but most of the time it’s not the case. Janet Umurerwa, a graduate from INILAK, is out with her boyfriend. They seem to be having a wonderful time. Over a glass of wine, they tackle intimate topics. The ultimate meaning of love seems to prevail. Little did Umurerwa know that her best friend ‘Josh’ would ruin the moment. Every after a small interval, Umurerwa kept mentioning Josh’s’ name and how instrumental he was in her life. This got to the boyfriend’s nerves; they ended up fighting and eventually broke up a month later. “Who is this Josh who seems to have taken your heart? Why are you ever comparing me to him,” Umurerwa’s boyfriend kept asking. Though it’s the trend today,’ girl-guy relationships without ‘strings attached’ are potential threats to healthy love relationships. According to Gerald Musoni, another student from INILAK, it hurts most when the men are sure that the male friends in question have ever pursued their girl friends. Musoni dubs this ‘whole opposite sex friendship thing’ as a bad idea that leads people to unintended mistakes. Losing his girlfriend to her best friend was enough proof that one of the parties [guy or girl] has intentions while initiating the friendship. “Well there are genuine guys who only need friendship though the percentage is very low,” says the 27 year old.Being best friends with a person who at one time considered you a potential spouse obviously leads to another thing. “I hate it when he advises me to wear the same hair style like his best friend. Deep down I feel insecure and know that he is interested in her though he has not told her,” says Martha Kyakwera, 23, who has been dating with her boyfriend for three months. Kyakwera has done all she can to cut the connection between her boyfriend and his best friend but with little success. Her boyfriend always runs to his best female friend incase of a misunderstanding. Given that real relationships never come on a silver platter, there will always be loop holes; this makes lovers always have a special friend of the opposite sex to cushion them when things go volatile. Meanwhile, some people get best friends with good intentions, for instance company at work, discussions at school and socializing. Later the innocent friendships result to cheating or hooking with their best friends. Well the ultimate answer is one. Guys can never be just friends to girls apart from a few exceptions. An opposite sex friendship with no intentions to fall in love should be treated with maximum principles. For instance time spent with a ‘friend’ should be minimal. Calls from friends should have end durations; no friend should call late in the night. Relationships are worth respecting. Why lose your love because of a friend. lillianean@yahoo.com

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Competing with your spouse’s friend—Not ideal