“Am glad to announce to you that I am raising your salaries at the end of this month” our boss told us handing over letters on the company’s letter head to us. It was a fifty per cent increment! This came as a surprise at a time when we least expected it. “God bless you Madam” I said. “I will serve you till I die” I added absent minded to the amusement of my fellow staff members. We could hardly wait for that evening. My throat was already thirsty and craving for that poison of choice after getting that fat envelope. I suggested we meet at some joint with one of my staff mates that evening. The rest overheard and expressed interest. “Zaire pub is the place to meet” one of my colleagues suggested and all concurred. I particularly liked the joint because of its cool ‘bongo flavour’ music not to mention the well curved African shaped ladies serving at the pub. Their prices are pocket- friendly too compared to other joints of the same class. That didn’t bother us either. We all felt moneyed. I offered to carry four of my colleagues in my old VW while the rest two had to use a cab. Everyone was excited on our way to the pub. We hailed our director all the way. “Bring as we are” I told one of the attendants by the name Kabeba. She was cute and apparently every man wanted to be served by her. She knew she was beautiful and didn’t hide it either. She knew how to handle men. “They say we are the weaker sex but I doubt” she once told me. “Make a man feel like a king and you will prey on him as you wish” she disclosed. She brought the beers in doubles and after the common cheers, we started gulping the stuff as if the breweries were to close the following day. “Our company is like a ship.” One colleague said. “We don’t have women employees” he added. “At least we have a woman, our director.” I interjected. I was not through with what I was saying when the rest of our colleagues entered. They both walked in majestically holding their girlfriends by their waists. We all applauded them. Soon after they sat, everybody else started engaging their mobile phones (at this time earning MTN and Bralirwa profits) to call their better or bitter halves. I wished I had one I could call but I didn’t. After several rounds, everybody else had a partner except me. “We need men on this table” One of my colleagues said and everybody laughed loudly. I was not amused with what he said. “How can you say you are a man if you don’t know how to kiss a woman?” he added kissing his girlfriend provocatively. “Hope you are not in any way suggesting that I am not a man just because I don’t have a lady seated with me,” I answered back and everybody else laughed animatedly. I felt sheepish and did not like the direction the discussion was taking. Kabeba came with another round of beers. “You are the odd one out,” she told me. I didn’t like it but the rest joined in. “I can get you my sister” Kabeba added and the rest said in unison “get her.” “I must get a lady otherwise these guys will forward the debate up to tomorrow in the office,” I thought to myself. “You don’t have to call your sister,” I told Kabeba who was still adamantly standing beside me. “Mine will be here in a moment” I said not knowing what else to say. I tried to get the subject changed but all in vain. An idea came to my mind. I excused myself and pretended to be going to the lavatory. On my way, I signalled Kabeba and requested her to call her sister for me. I cautioned her not to let my staff mates know of the project and she concurred. I went back to the table and after several sips, I pretended to be talking to someone on my phone. Soon after, I announced the grand coming of my girlfriend in a few minutes time. They all applauded and were anxious to see her. It did not take long before ‘my’ girl came. It was late by then and I appreciated the corner we had sat in since it was not well lit. I had given instructions to Kabeba on how the lady would behave so that none of my colleagues would click a thing. They appreciated her coming. “This is now full house.” One of my colleagues announced. We all clapped and for once in that gathering, I felt a sense of belonging. We were all drunk, and simple things seemed major and major things seemed simple. However, one of us was drunk than the rest. That was Kabeba’s sister. She started inquiring loudly. “My sister told me to come and sit with you.” “What is it that you want?” she asked. “What business do you have with me?” she inquired spitting some of her Saliva on me. I got speechless then and hated her. I slowly left the table knowing very well the following day would be disastrous for me at the office. Ends
