PARENTS & KIDS : Modernity vs. Charity in kids’ up-bringing

Charity begins at home. This is an old saying that seems not to matter anymore. Today it’s rather do as I say than what I do. Many parents have traded ‘charity’ for modernity. And as far as modernity is concerned, it’s regarded as adapting to foreign cultures and neglecting our own rich cultural discipline and trends that guided safely our children in their journey of growing up. Where is the ‘charity’ that was free for every Rwandan home? If we searched somewhere in modernity, perhaps we would find the grave where charity was buried. Parents have too much on their minds to remember instilling the ethics and etiquette to see their children through the growing up process. Being wealthy is incomparable to being trustworthy! That’s where we are headed to in this era. Unlike in the past where a child was a co-operate responsibility to the community, today only parents are answerable about their children. Unless it’s a police case, that’s when neighbors and community will be involved. Sweet memories of how children were brought up only live to linger in those God has blessed with old age to see both eras’ (this and the past). “Eating on the road, fighting or uttering abusive words were punishable even without your parents’ consent,” says Aidan Nsanzabaganwa. According to the 74 old Nsanzabaganwa, the community helped children distinguish between bad and good no matter where they were. Be it at school, on the road, at the well (where they fetched water) or in the garden, there was always an eye watching over their discipline and ensuring that charity prevails. Now that children belong to their parents exclusively, many things are history when it comes to discipline. Teamed with modernity, parents have ruined their children’s social and physical behavior. The way of dressing, talking and associating of children (town children) is extremely exotic! The imported bundle also brought in different habits and one of these is ‘taking kids to bars! “A parent will happily sit with her/his son or daughter in a bar. He will enjoy a beer as the kid swallows a soda,” says Morris Ntwari, a parent. Taking kids to bars is regarded a way to give kids freedom. It’s also a way to relax their minds from reading! With all due respect, there are millions of things kids can do to relax other than chilling in bars. And if they ended up addicted drinkers, who stands to blame apart from the parents? Parents are indeed ‘gods’ to their children. All kids believe in their parents and what they do. Drinking when your child is watching is enough to misguide them that drinking is a good habit. Besides, kids are too little to take in all those conversations at the bar. May be to the beach but a bar! No way. Not to mention are parents who take their little ones out to watch music concerts and karaoke. “Your child’s future is in your hands. Either help them turn into responsible people or let them live irresponsibly and take the blame for the rest of your life, “says Robert Agaba. Since old is gold, parents should seek advise from older people on how to discipline and bring up straight children. Young trees make the strong foundation of great forests. Ends